My Dark Side
by Leawesomesause
Summary: Arthur attempted to kill himself, the weight of his past and present finally weighing down on him. But, our hero, Alfred, saves him in the nick of time. But can our hero save Arthur from himself before he attempts to take his life again?
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.: A little warning, this is talk of suicide and such, so if that is a sensitive issue with you, please, don't read or take caution.  
Please excuse any grammar errors.**

* * *

_My Dark Side_

_Chapter 1_

* * *

Arthur's head swirled as he leaned over his bath tub, staring at the water as it slowly began to fill the tub.

He had had enough. He had tried everything to stop his currently steadily declining state, anti-depressants, therapy, all of that. But nothing worked. The words of his peers and the memories of old still always fresh on his mind.

He couldn't help but to think of all the hurt he had gone through in his life, the pain he had suffered through. The constant bullying of his elder brothers when he was young, the back stabbing and betrayal from his later years and now...

No one seemed to care for him now. Like he could be gone tomorrow and not a single on of his peers would care.

He shivered violently as he slipped into the cold water, his mind running a hundred miles a minute.  
His fingers brushed against the hilt of a knife that laid on the edge of the tub, he looked at it as he shivered. He gripped the handle, bringing it to his wrist and cutting deep.

He hissed in pain, tears filling his eyes as he quickly sliced the other wrist.

He slowly sank into the cold water, watching from below as the clear water turned a dark crimson. He silently sobbed as he held his breath, the pain from his wrists spreading up his arm.

Then his mind went blank for a moment, all pain went away. All he saw was the smiling face of the boy he had raised, sitting in the field where he had first met him.

"Hello, Engwand." The boy called, spotting him and waving, hugging a small bunny to his chest tightly.  
A small smile slowly spread over his lips as everything went dark.

* * *

"Arthur!" Alfred called, knocking on his door. "Arthur, dude! You in there?"

When there was no reply, he glanced around the front porch, find a flower pot. He picked it up, searching underneath it.

He smiled as he found a spare key, quickly using it to unlock the door. "Hey, Arthur! Are ya home?" He stepped in, glancing around. "Arthur?"

He heard running water and went to the bathroom. "Arthur, dude, are you taking a bath?"

He heard a small splash as he stepped in front of the door. He looked down, there was water, but it was red.

His heart dropped and he immediately freaked out. "Arthur? Arthur, dude! Are you alright?" He attempted to open the door, but it was locked. He banged on the door loudly. "Arthur! Are you in there?"

He received no reply and his hand shook. He took a breath then quickly kicked the door in.  
What he saw, nearly made him faint.

Arthur was there, in the over flowing bathtub filled with blood.  
He rushed over immediately, grabbing him out of the bath. He checked him for a pulse. "It's there." He sighed. "But faint." He grabbed towels and wrapped them tightly around his wrists. He pulled out his cell phone and immediately called for an ambulance.

It all suddenly hit him and he broke down in tears, holding Arthur to him tightly as he sobbed. "And you say I'm the idiot."

* * *

Arthur slowly came to, staring up at a bright light as he felt air being forced into his lungs. He attempted to lift his hands, to shield his eyes or at least pull the mask off his face, but his arms felt like they where made of led. He could hardly move them.

"Stay still, love. Everything will be alright." He heard someone say from the side, somewhere beyond the light.

"A-Am I dead?" He slowly blinked, his voice was horse, scratchy and muffled from the mask.

"No love, you're just fine. You're in the hospital." The voice spoke up.

"I'm not.. dead?" He blinked slowly again. "Why?"

"Thank fully a friend of yours was there to stop you from bleeding out. I think he said his name was... Alfred."

Anger suddenly flared in him and he heard something beeping loudly, he would have guess it was a heart monitor if he wasn't so angry. He slowly moved, sitting up and ripping the mask off.

"No! Stop! You can't do that!" The voice called and he felt a pair of cold hands touch his arm.

"Don't touch me!" He growled, wrapping off what ever he could, then stumbled out of the bed, nearly falling on his face, then out of the room.

"We have a patient on the loose!" The voice called from behind him. "Stop him!"

He growled under his breath, pushing passed nurses and a few other patience. He reached the elevator, pressing the button and glancing over to see a few nurses making their way to him.

The elevator door open and he attempted to rush in, but a hand blocked him, pushing him out of the way of the door.

"What are you doing, Arthur?" This voice was familiar, he knew this voice.

He glanced up at who pushed him and blinked. "Al..fred?"

"What are you doing, Arthur?" Alfred repeated, staring at him.

He stared back, rage slowly starting to boil inside him.

"Arthur, you're not supposed to-" He was cut off by a fist roughly connecting to his nose. He let go of Arthur, grabbing his face as his nose began to bleed.

"You stupid idiot!" Arthur snapped, punching Alfred in the arm repeatedly. "How could you do this to me! How!? After all I did for you, you could at least let me do this!"

Alfred looked at him with wide eyes, shocked.

He continued to punch him, tears slowly beginning to form in the corner of his eyes, his anger being replaced with sadness. "Why didn't you just let me die? I just wanted to die. Why couldn't you let me?" He slowly sunk to his knees in front of him, burying his face in his hands and sobbing loudly.

Alfred continued to stare at him with wide eyes, this scene suddenly becoming very familiar to him.

The nurses came and picked him up, helping back to his room.

Alfred watched them take him away then frowned, looking down at his hands. His hand was full of blood from his nose.

"Are you alright?" A nurse asked, stepping over to him. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

He looked up at the nurse, then shook his head, turning and leaving.

* * *

Arthur struggled against a few male curses that attempted to restrain him.

"Let me go!" He cried, thrashing about and lashing out at the nurses. "I don't want to be here! Let me go!"

Another nurse quickly stepped up, a needle in hand. She stabbed it into his arm and injected him with what ever liquid was inside.

Everything suddenly began to slow down for him. He slowly stopped struggling as his mind became foggy and he layed limp. His mind went completely blank and everything went black again.

* * *

The nurses sighed, relieved he had finally stopped struggling.

"He's a wild one." One nurse muttered.

"He is." The nurse that injected him nodded.

"What did you give him?"

"Just something to make him sleep for awhile. He should wake up by the morning."

"Hopefully he doesn't try to make a run for it again."

"Yes. We can only hope we can talk to him before he does something rash."

* * *

**A.N: I hope you guys like this. Thanks for reading. I'm not entirely sure if I should continue or not... What do you guys think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**/AN:\\ So I got some good reviews on the first chapter and decided I shall continue. Here's the second chapter. ^^**

* * *

Arthur slowly awoke again, his eyes still heavy as he slowly fluttered them open. He could feel air being forced into his lungs like last time and a bright light over him.

"Good morning, Mr. Kirkland." A voice from behind the light said cheerfully. "You gave us quite the scare yesterday, I hope you don't try to do anything like that again."

He moved to lift his hands, but he felt a resistance. He slowly looked down to see his hands. They were tied to the railing of the bed with the bed sheet.

"Oh. Sorry about that. You fought us really bad yesterday and we didn't want that to happen again. We had to take extreme measures to make sure you don't harm yourself."

He laid his head back, staring blankly passed the light. He slowly shook his head, closing his eyes. "What… did you do to me?" His voice sounded horse and his words where slurred.

"We had to inject you with something to make you sleep, so you wouldn't fight and harm yourself or others."

He blinked slowly. "Why am I here?"

"You lost a lot of blood. We had to keep you over night for a blood fusion and now you're just here for observation."

"... That's not what I meant." He shook his head slowly. "Why… am I here and not dead?"

Whoever was the owner of the voice was silent for a moment, then finally spoke. "I told you this yesterday before you stormed out. Your friend named Alfred found you in your bathroom bleeding out and he immediately called for help. He saved you."

'_Did he? Or did he just condemn me?_' He thought bitterly to himself.

Of course someone had to come and save him, no one would truly want him gone, because, who would they have to torture then? He was forever stuck in this life, his failed attempt to end it was apparent to the fact. No matter what he did, someone would still be there to pull him back into his sad existence.

'_One day,_' He closed his eyes, furrowing his brows. '_One day it will work._'

"Are you alright?" He glanced passed the light and saw a young nurse giving him a concerned look.

He said nothing as he closed his eyes again, attempting to fall back asleep, plagued by his own thoughts.

* * *

Alfred took a shaky breath, placing a hand on the door. His eyes landing on the name plaque the wall, 'Arthur Kirkland'. He pushed the door open slowly, peeking in.

"Oh. You're here. Good. He just woke up." A nurse that was standing beside Arthur's bed said, nodding to him.

He remained silent as he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

"He's ready to go home. It's just the fact he's been asleep since yesterday morning."

"Asleep?" He whispered, looking to Arthur.

His eyes were closed. He appeared to be asleep, but he seemed restless.

"Yes. We've tried waking him up, but there was nothing that would work. So we decided to just let him sleep it off."

He nodded slowly, stepping up to him.

"There's just one thing. Once he leaves he'll need someone to watch after him, to make to he doesn't do anything he shouldn't."

"You mean not try to… kill himself… again." He muttered, frowning.

"Yes, and, he should be relatively weak from the blood loss. He'll need help."

He nodded slowly. "I can do that."

"And here." She held out her hand, passing him a bottle. "These are for him to take."

He took the bottle and looked it over. "What is it?"

"It's just something to help him." The nurse nodded, pushing a wheel chair to him. "Do you think you can get him off the bed alright?"

"Yeah." He nodded, putting the bottle in his pocket. He moved to pick up Arthur, he lifted him up off the bed and placed him in the wheel chair.

Arthur's head slumped to the side, he was still asleep.

"I wish you luck." The nurse smiled, opening the door for him. "And be careful."

He nodded. "Thank you." He wheeled Arthur out of the room and to the elevator.

* * *

He had a bit of problem getting Arthur in and out of the car, but now he was at Arthur's home, carrying him to his bed room. He laid him on his bed and looked down at him.

He looked so restless, so tired, like he hadn't sleep in a long while.

It tore him up inside to see him that way. Not knowing what caused him so much pain.

What caused him to try and take his own life.

Before he even registered what was happening, his hand was in Arthur's face, brushing away a few loose bangs that fell over his eyes.

Before he could pull his hand away, however, Arthur's eyes slowly fluttered open and he stared directly at his hand.

His face turned a bright red and he drew his hand back quickly. "O-Oh! Arthur! You're awake!"

"Get out." He said lowly, his voice hoarse.

"What?" He blinked, furrowing his brows slightly.

"Get out." He repeated just a bit louder.

He frowned. "Arthur, listen-"

"Get. Out." He repeated again, his brows drawing together.

"Arthur, just listen-"

"Get the bloody hell out!" He snapped, turning to glare at Alfred.

He stared at him, his eyes wide. He looked down and nodded slowly, leaving the room.

Arthur watched him leave, glaring at his back as he left. His eyes drifted away from the door to the ceiling, that way-to-familiar-ceiling. He closed his eyes tightly, fighting the anger that was boiling inside him.

Then an image flicked through his mind.

Alfred.

His look of absolutely horror he had just given him.

He didn't know why he suddenly thought of that face he had made, but somewhere deep in his chest he felt an ache he couldn't explain.

And ache he had only felt once before.

He closed his eye more tightly, fighting back a few tears that threatened to spill out.

A small part of him was enraged by the fact he had been reduced to this just because Alfred made that face, the other part was completely tortured by it.

HE made him make that face.

HE scared him away.

But, maybe that was a good thing.

Even he was slowly starting to become scared of himself.

* * *

Alfred sat on the couch, staring down at his hands that he subconsciously folded neatly in his hands. His mind ran a thousand miles a minute. He'd beat himself up over brushing Arthur's hair away.

Then a single image popped up in the back of his mind.

His look of utter anger and hatred.

He felt his heart drop as he brought his knees up to his chest, resting his forehead on his knees.

All that anger was pointed toward him. Just for saving his life.

He never thought that, by being a Hero, he would be hated.

He thought Arthur would be happy that he saved him. He thought that he would finally see that he truly was a Hero.

But he was mad.

So mad.

Then again, he was always mad when it came to him.

It's been that way since he became an independent country. After 200 years, that's something you get used to.

But this time his anger towards him did not sit well with Alfred.

He didn't like the feeling it gave him.

Something deep in his chest ached every time her thought of his face.

He didn't understand the feeling, it's something he had never felt before.

Was this what people call 'heartache'?

Was his heart broken?

So many questions popped up in his mind as he sat there, contemplating the feeling.

Why would he be heartbroken over that look Arthur gave him?

Was he-

'_No!_' He snapped at himself angrily, hitting his forehead on his knee. '_Don't think like that, stupid! He's your fr- Well… Yeah. Friend._'

* * *

After a long time of the two being wrapped up in their own thoughts, Alfred finally decided he should check on Arthur.

He peeked his head in the cracked door, glancing in on him.

He was laying on his back, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

"Arthur?" He peeped meekly, hoping not to incur his wrath.

"Did I not say to leave?" Arthur said, his voice monotone and hoarse.

"Uh… yeah. About that, dude. I… can't leave."

Arthur blinked slowly then looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, like, I have to stay here with you, dude. To help you out. The doc said you really shouldn't be doing a lot of things by yourself right now."

"I don't need your help."

"You might not think so, but it's the doctor's orders, dude."

"I. Don't. Need. Your. Help."

"You can say that all you'd like, but I can't and won't leave, dude."

"What will it take to make you leave?"

"Nothing."

"Alfred. You don't seem to understand."

"Yeah I do, dude. You're just too proud to admit that you need a little help here and there."

"No. I don't want YOU here." Arthur stared blankly at him.

Alfred felt a small pinch of pain in his chest but he just smiled. "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, dude. But really, I can't leave."

"I can make you leave."

"I'll just keep coming back."

"I know spells to ward you off."

"Dude, don't start with that hockis-pockis magic junk of yours."

"I'll curse you."

"Sure you will."

"I will. And it will be the most horrible curse I have ever conjured."

"Bugsy's chair again?"

"No. Something more powerful."

"Alright." He rolled his eyes. "I'm going to make something to eat. Do you want anything?"

"Something you make? I'd rather eat grass."

There we go. He's back to his normal ways.

"Come on, dude. You haven't eaten a thing for a few days. You need to eat something."

"No thanks." He muttered, looking away.

Alfred crossed his arms and shook his head. "I'll make you something anyway for when you feel like eating."

Arthur said nothing and looked back at the ceiling.

Alfred sighed, shutting the door and stepped into the kitchen.

* * *

After a while, Arthur started to smell something. Something that smelled good.

He sniffed the air and his stomach rumbled.

He lay there for a bit longer, then his stomach rumbled louder.

"Damn him." He muttered, rolling over on his side and curling up.

* * *

After a few more minutes, Alfred wondered into Arthur's room with a bowl and set it on his night stand.

"What's that?" Arthur muttered, cracking an eye open and looked at the bowl.

"Some soup." Alfred nodded, looking at him. "For when you're hungry."

He said nothing and watched as Alfred left. After a few moments, he sat up slowly then grabbed the bowl, his stomach giving a loud growl.

* * *

After Arthur finished eating his food, he decided he should try to get up and put the bowl away.

He sat up slowly, hanging his feet off the edge of the side of the bed. He waited for a moment, and then slowly stood, using the bed for support. As he took his first step, he suddenly became light head and his feet gave in.

He let out a loud yelp as he landed face first on the floor.

He heard running down the hall, then the door being thrown open.

"Arthur, are you alri- DUDE!"

And at that point in time, he noted he was still in his hospital gown with nothing else on.

And in that small moment, he realized Alfred probably had an interesting view as his rear was in the air, pointing towards the door.

He groaned, pushing himself up shakily. He looked back at Alfred, whose face was a dark red.

And in that moment, he noticed something else.

Alfred was wearing nothing but his underwear.

He felt his face heat up and he quickly looked away. "Idiot! Why are you not wearing clothes?"

"I-" Alfred's voice squeaked a bit, he cleared his throat. "I was getting ready to go to sleep, dude. Why is your nude ass in the air?"

"I fell, damn it." He felt his face heat up more and grabbed the edge of the bed, attempting to pull himself up.

"Here, let me help." Alfred muttered, moving to his side.

"No. Don't touch me." He muttered, shakily attempting to push himself up.

"Look, Arthur." Alfred putting, hooking an arm around him. "You're weak, there's still a lot of things you can't do just yet."

He glanced up at him and felt his face heat up even more as he looked at the concerned look in his eyes. His stomach did a flip and he quickly looked away.

Alfred picked him up, helping him onto the bed. "Why where you getting up?"

He looked at the bowl.

Alfred noticed him look at the bowl and blinked. "Oh. Where you going to put that away?"

He nodded slowly.

Alfred shook his head, smiling as he grabbed the bowl. "Why don't you just call me if you need anything?"

"Because," He muttered. "I don't need your help."

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Sure, dude. You'll come around sooner or later."

He watched as Alfred left, and then slowly laid back down.

Alfred came back after a moment, sticking his head in the door. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes. I'm sure." He mumbled, resting an arm over his eyes.

"Okay, dude. If you need anything, call."

"Whatever."

Alfred frowned, leaving the door and going to the spare room.

Arthur grumbled to himself, laying on his side and curling up into a tight ball. Sleeping into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**/AN:\\ BOOM! Chapter 2 done. I hope you guys like it.**


	3. Chapter 3

Alfred was suddenly woken up again that morning when he heard a crash and a curse. He immediately jumped out of the bed, once again in nothing but his underwear, and ran to Arthur's room, where the crash came from.

He found Arthur, half way to his closet, laying in the floor, his but sticking in the air once again.

"D-Dude! You need to get some clothes on!" He blushed, looking away.

"What does it look like I was trying to do?" He snapped, pushing himself up.

"I don't know, dude." He blinked, furrowing his brows.

"Just don't stand there." Arthur muttered, nearly falling on his face again.

He walked over, snaking a hand around his waist and picked him up effortlessly.

"Good." He sighed. "Now take me to the closet."

Alfred nodded, helping him to the closet as instructed.

Once there, Arthur immediately went to find some clothes, pulling out some here and there, then he finally found some and looked to Alfred.

"Now I need to get to the restroom."

"Can you just change in here?"

"No! I need a shower! I don't want to continue smelling like a hospital!"

"A shower might not be such a good idea. You can barely stand on your own as it is."

"Fine then, I'll take a bath. Just take me to the bathroom."

"Alright." He nodded, helping him down the hall and to the tub. He turned on the water for Arthur and grabbing him some needed things. "There. If you need anything, I'll be in the other room."

"Alright." Arthur nodded, watching Alfred leave.

He leaned over the tub slightly, turning on the water. He took off the hospital gown and tossed it away. He slipped into the warm water, sliding down to his nose as he turned off the water with his toes. He breathed heavily out of his nose, creating bubbles.

A small sting traveled up both his arms and he pulled them out of the water.

He ran a hand over his wounds, the sting dying down.

He closed his eyes, the images from the last time he was in the bath flashing through his mind.

Filling the tub. Slipping in the water. Taking the knife. Slipping more into the water. The water turning a dark crimson.

He shook slightly as he remembered the pain he felt. How he screamed internally at himself. But it was the only way. The only way he could be released.

And then Alfred ruined it.

He seemed to have a nasty habit in sticking his nose in other people's business.

A thought suddenly accord to him.

What if he tried again?

He was in the bath, Alfred thought he was alright and probably wouldn't come in considering the circumstances.

That's it. It's decided. He'd try again. No matter what. He'd try.

He slipped under the water, holding his breath.

He stared up at the water above him, noting how the light reflected off the top of the water to make an interesting effect.

After a few moments, his lungs began to burn and felt this desperate need to take a gasp of air, but he held it back.

Another few moments and his vision was starting to darken, starting from the very corners.

Just before everything went black, though, he saw a silhouette over him, then it went black.

* * *

Alfred quickly pulled him out of the water, sitting with him at the base of the tub.

He felt desperately for a pulse. After he felt a faint one, he immediately laid him on the floor.

He hovered over him, pressing his lips to his and blowing air into his mouth.

He pulled away, pumping his hands on his chest, then blew air into his mouth again.

He did this a few times before Arthur finally sputtered and rolled over on his side, coughing up water.

"Arthur! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Alfred breathed, placing a hand over his heart for effect.

He coughed loudly, spitting out a little water.

"Are you alright? What happened?" He placed a hand on his shoulder, which Arthur quickly shook off.

"Don't touch me!" He snapped, looking back at him and glaring.

He drew his hand back, blinking. "Dude, I just saved you."

"I didn't want you to!" Arthur shook his head, coughing again.

"W-What?" He blinked. "D-Did you… try to.."

"Yes!" He looked away, resting his forehead on the floor.

Alfred was silent for a moment, then he asked meekly. "Why?"

"Why?" Arthur blinked, staring at the white tiles.

"Yeah. Why do you try? What… makes you want to do that?"

"You don't know?"

"No… but I want to. So I can help you."

"You can't help me. No one can help me."

"I want to try."

He slowly looked at him, then looked away. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

"Because I just don't, Alfred." He growled, glaring at him. "Now don't press the subject anymore or your face will become well acquainted with the tile."

Alfred sighed, standing and reaching into a cabinet about the sink, pulling out a small jar and a glass. He took something out of the jar and then filled up the glass, then handed both to her. "Here. Take that. The doc said that should help you."

"I've taken too much of this stuff and none of it works." He muttered, looking away.

"No. This is different." Alfred put both objects in his hands.

He looked down at it, was a small pill. He looked back up at Alfred, who gave him a smile. He blinked and then popped it in his mouth, then took a large gulp of water.

After he took it, he coughed and shook his head.

"What was that?"

"I don't know. But from the label, it sounds like something that should help you not feel that way."

He huffed and shook his head. "That's what they all say they'll do."

"But this stuff looks different." Alfred nodded, kneeling next to him.

He sighed and nodded. "Alright. I'll try these out for a while, but I doubt it will work."

"You never know in till you try."

"I will." He rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"Good." Alfred hugged him tightly.

He blushed, his heart fluttering, then he pushed him roughly away, or at least tried to. "D-Don't do that, you idiot!"

He laughed and leaned away, giving a grin. "I'm glad you're back to normal."

"S-Shut up." He muttered, helping himself to stand.

Alfred helped him up a bit, then stood himself and helped him out of the bathroom.

"Where to?" He grinned, looking down at Arthur, was blushing lightly and staring blankly ahead.

"Hm?" He blinked and looked up at him. "Oh. To the kitchen."

"Alright then." Alfred nodded, smiling as he led him down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Now what?"

"Now get me a cup. And you one as well, if you'd like." He used the counter for support as he grabbed a tea kettle, filled it with water an sat it on the stove.

"Okay." Alfred nodded, reaching up in the cabinets for two tea cups, just where he remember them always being. He sat the cups on the counter next to the stove, and then looked at him. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. Get me the tea." He nodded, waiting patiently for the water to boil.

He reached up into another cabinet, just as he remembered; the tea was the very first box. He brought down the box and sat it next to the cups.

"Thank you." He nodded, glancing at him for the corner of his eye.

"You're welcome, dude." He grinned, taking a seat at the table not too far away.

They were both silent for a long time, the only thing that broke the silence was the loud whistle of the kettle as the water finally came to a boil.

Arthur placed tea leaves at the bottom of the cups, then took the kettle and poured the hot water into the cups.

Just as he finished pouring the water in the final cup, a small bit slid down and dripped onto his hand, which was resting on the counter.

He instinctively jerked his hand back, causing him to lose his grip on the kettle and causing it to come crashing down to the floor, shattering into tiny pieces.

Alfred grabbed him before the scolding hot water had a change to hit him, pulling him back roughly and caused himself to loss his balance, falling to floor with Arthur still in his arms.

Arthur stared wide eyed at the remains of the tea kettle, slowly registering what had just happened.

"Are you okay?" Alfred looked down at him, giving him a concerned look.

"Y-Yeah." He blushed, glancing back at Alfred. "T-Thanks."

"You're welcome, dude." He nodded. "I'll clean that up for you and get you a new kettle."

Arthur said nothing and looked down at his hand, a bright red spot formed in the center of his hand where the water had landed. He let out a small hiss as the pain from the new burn wound slowly sank in.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Alfred blinked, looking over his shoulder.

"It's nothing. Just a little burn." He shook his head.

"Let me see." Alfred reached over, taking Arthur's hand and turning him slightly so he could get a better look.

"H-Hey! I said it was nothing!" He blushed brightly, blinking.

"It looks pretty bad. It was boiling hot water."

"I'm fine! I've gotten boiling water splashed on me all the time." He shrunk back a bit, his heart fluttering and Alfred brought his hand a bit closer to his face.

"Straight from the burner?" Alfred raised a brow, gently brushing his fingers against the mark.

He let out a low hiss and attempted to pull his hand away.

"Do you have anything for it?"

He was silent for a moment, and then he slowly nodded.

"Where?"

"I-In your old room." He looked away. "I always kept it there in case you ever needed it."

"That stuff? Surely that stuff's too old now."

"No. It's special. Had you never noticed how fast it worked?"

"Well... I was young, I always thought you used magic on it."

"You were smart then."

"Then? What is that supposed to me?"

"The fact that you don't know proves my point."

"You're so cruel!"

He let out a small chuckle and moved to stand, but only fell back onto Alfred.

"Whoa." He muttered.

"What?"

"I suddenly became quite dizzy." He blinked, shaking his head.

"You've probably done a bit too much. Here." He stood, helping Arthur to stand then had him sit down. He grabbed his tea cup, being careful of the kettle remains, and sat it on the table in front of him.

Arthur took the cup gratefully, sipping at it as Alfred left the room.

He quickly returned with a small tube in one hand and towel in the other. He stepped over to Arthur, kneeling in front of him, putting the towel on the table.

"W-What are you doing?" He blinked, furrowing his brows.

"Putting this on for you." He held up the tube, unscrewing the top.

"I can do that myself!" He blushed, glaring at him.

"You can. But it's more than likely you won't." He took his hand, moving the tube over his spot, which had turned a darker red.

"Hey! No! You don't have to do that for me! I can do it myself! I'm not some helpless child! Let go of me! I can do it!" Arthur attempted to pull his hand away, but Alfred only tightened his grip on his hand.

"Oh stop complaining. It'll only take a minute." He put a bit of the white paste from the tube onto the spot, and then gently rubbed it in with his index finger.

His blush darkened and he stared at him, knowing he would not win this fight.

Once Alfred was through, he stood, grabbing the towel and moving to clean up the water and glass shards.

Arthur's heart fluttered and he blinked as he brought the hand Alfred was holding to his chest.

What was this feeling?

Why did his heart react in such a way whenever he touched him or looked into his eyes?

Why was he feeling this way?

Why couldn't the world just make sense for once?

Alfred stood, finished cleaning the floor, and let out a sigh. "Well, this has been an eventful day."

"Hm?" He blinked, being drawn out of his thoughts.

"I said it's been an eventful day." Alfred turned to him, giving a smile. "What? Are you going deaf in your old age?"

"Oh… Maybe." He muttered, looking down at his cup.

Alfred blinked and furrowed his brows. "What? No come back? No shouting out me?"

He said nothing and continued to stare into his cup.

"Arthur? Dude, are you okay?" He stepped over to him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Hm?" He blinked and looked up at him. "Oh, yeah. I'm alright."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Well, you were staring at your tea with particular interest and didn't pay attention to a word I said." Alfred blinked, furrowing his brows.

"Not paying attention to you? That's impossible, considering how obnoxiously loud you speak."

"Hey! … Hey! You made a comeback!"

"I'd like to think of it as a 'Witty Retort'."

"Whatever." Alfred rolled his eyes, giving him a tight hug.

"Hey! Stop that!" He blushed, glaring at him.

"Dude. You really scared me, today. I'm glad you're back to acting like your normal self." He hugged him tighter as Arthur squirmed.

"I… did?" Arthur blinked, stopping his squirming and looked at him.

"Yeah." He nodded, frowning and resting his chin on Arthur's shoulder.

He went silent and frowned, looking away, his heart felt as if it skipped a beat.

Why?

"Hey, don't go quite again." Alfred pouted.

"Sorry. I was just thinking."

"Can I ask what about?"

"Nothing, really." He shook his head.

"Okay." Alfred nodded, leaning away from him.

A small part of him let out a relieved sigh when he let go, the rest longed for his arms to be around him again.

He blushed darkly and closed his eyes tightly.

Why was he feeling like this?

Was the pill Alfred gave him messing with his feelings somehow?

None of the other's ever made him feel this way.

"Dude, your face is all red. You alright?" Alfred blinked, frowning.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He nodded and pushed himself up to stand. "I think I'll go back to bed. I'm quite tired."

"Alright. Want help?"

"N-No. I think I'll try to walk on my own."

"Come on, dude. Just at least up the stairs."

He sighed and nodded. "Alright. Just up the stairs. Then let me try to walk on my own, alright?"

"Okay." Alfred wrapped an arm around him, helping him up the stairs, then which they reached the top, he let him go, but watched him.

He used the wall for support as he made his way to his room, giving a small frown as he stumbled a bit.

"You alright?" Alfred called, furrowing his brows.

"Yes. I'm fine." He huffed, opening the door to his room, stepping in, and then closed the door roughly. He immediately stepped over to his bed and laid down, giving a small groan as he buried his face in his pillows.

His heart fluttered when an image of Alfred smiling at him after cleaning up tea kettle mess. He blushed darkly and rolled over on his back, staring up the ceiling with half lidded eyes.

'_I don't understand._' He thought to himself, continuing to stare at the ceiling. '_I'm supposed to hate him! Well… not hate. More like a strong dislike. But… why do I suddenly feel this way now?_'

He out a loud sigh and rested a hand over his eyes, beating himself up inside for the image of his smile still being planted in his mind.

* * *

Alfred sighed as he sat down in the kitchen, resting his head in his hands. His heart beating quickly and his mind running a thousand miles a minute.

His heart ached at the image of Arthur in the tub.

Why was he always in the tub?

With both times?

Why was he even doing it?

What made him hurt so much he had to end it all?

What had happened to make him think having no life at all is better than the life he has?

Why couldn't he just tell him what made him feel this way?

Could he not trust him?

All he knew now was, he couldn't trust him to bathe by himself anymore.

Nor should he really be doing anything else in till he gets his strength back.

This was tougher then he that it would be.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So here's the next chapter. I hope you guys like it. ^^**

* * *

Arthur was startled awake that night by a nightmare. A nightmare that seemed to be rearing its ugly head a bit too often.

He called it a nightmare, though technically it was a memory.

Though it was also considered a nightmare, as he did not see the memory through his own eyes. He just watched from a distance helplessly.

And then the dream became twisted, going from following the memory to a T, then suddenly making a dire change that startled him back into consciousness.

He dreamed of that night, nearly 200 and a half years ago.

He could still feel the bone chilling rain, the feeling of the muddy, slippery ground beneath his boots.

The utter rage and sadness that fueled him to charge at the one he loved, basinet drawn and pointed directly at Alfred's temple.

That's right. He dreamed of the Revolutionary War.

The finally battle.

He remembered vividly the feel of the smooth wooden riffle in his chilled hands, the tips of his fingers feeling numb, the sound of Alfred's own riffle hitting a puddle not too far off, and the sound of Alfred's soldiers aiming their weapons at him, waiting for the order to shoot him down.

He remembered what he said, his own voice still ringing in his ears.

"_You idiot! Why can't you ever follow anything through till the end?_"

And that's when the memory became a nightmare.

It did not follow what truly happened after, but instead, it chose a completely new ending.

Alfred had pulled out a blade from his belt, and then he had ran it through Arthur's heart.

He had felt a small ache in his chest as he watched himself fall lifelessly to the ground, a large puddle of blood mixing in with the mud to make quite a disgusting color.

And then Alfred kneeled next to him, gently touching the back of his head and lowered his own.

"_You used to be so big._"

He stood from the bed immediately, rushing to the bathroom as fast as he could and fell to his knees in front of the toilet, retching hard.

Alfred was there immediately, attempting not to get sick himself from the sound of Arthur beginning to dry heath.

Once his heathing finally died down, Alfred kneeled behind him, gently touching his back and giving a frown. "Arthur, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He muttered, shrugging off his hand.

"Are you sure? Do you feel sick or something?"

"What do you think?" He leaned back, wiping sweat from his brow.

Alfred grabbed a rag, wet it and kneeled next to him again, gently dabbing it to his forehead. "I'll take that as a yes."

"I can do that." He growled, glaring at him.

"I know." Alfred smiled and nodded. "You look so tired. Did you sleep at all?"

"Not really." He looked down, shaking his head.

"Why? Bad dream?"

"Yeah… you could say that."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Alright." Alfred sighed, handing him the cloth and then stood.

He remained silently, gripping the cloth as he sat back on his heels.

"Are you going to be alright?"

"Hm?" He blinked and looked up at him. "Yeah. I'm alright."

He kneeled next to him again, gently placing the back of his hand on his forehead. "Well, you're not hot so you're not running a fever. Was your dream so bad it made you get sick?"

"Uh… yeah." He nodded slowly.

"Dude, are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Alfred frowned, furrowing his brows a bit.

"Yes. I'm sure." He nodded slowly.

"Are you absolutely sure? Maybe it will help you if you got it off your chest."

"I'm positive, Alfred. Now, please, don't press the issue anymore."

"Alright." Alfred sighed, shaking his head. He stood, picking Arthur up.

"W-What are you doing?" He blushed, blinking wide eyes at him.

"I'm going to do with you what you used to do with me when I had bad dreams." He smiled, walking to Arthur's bedroom.

"N-No! Don't do that! Set me down this instant! I'm not a child!"

Alfred stepped through the door, then plopped him down on the bed.

"Hey! Ow! That was unnecessary!" He glared up at him.

"Yeah, yeah." Alfred grinned, plopping down on the bed next to him, stretching out and yawning.

"This is really unnecessary. You don't have to sleep with me just because I had a bad dream."

"Is 'unnecessary' your favorite word or something, dude?" Alfred rolled his eyes, turning onto his side to look at him.

"No. It just is."

"It is your favorite word?"

"No! It's unnecessary!"

"That's what I said. Unnecessary is your favorite word."

"No! It's no-" He sighed heavily, hitting the palm of his hand to his forehead. "I'm not playing this game with you."

"Aw, come on, dude. I was just trying to make you laugh." He pouted a bit, looking away.

"Yeah? Well, you failed. You only irritated me." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, dude." He muttered, rolling over on his back.

They were both silent for a while, then Arthur looked over to Alfred.

"Do you really want to know what it was about?"

Alfred blinked, looking over at him. "What? Your dream? Yeah, sure. If you want to talk about it."

He was silent for a moment, then he looked at the ceiling. "I don't know why I had it."

"A lot of people don't know why they have certain dreams."

He closed his eyes tightly, frowning. "I dreamed of that day…"

Alfred was silent for a moment, and then he nodded slowly. "Oh."

"But it was different."

"Different how?"

"You…" He furrowed his brows, opening his eyes again. "You… actually killed me."

"I killed you?"

"Yeah. You stabbed me in the heart." He stared blankly at the ceiling. "As I said, I don't know why I had it."

"I see." Alfred muttered, frowning.

"Anyway, I just want to forget it, alright?" He looked back over to him.

"Alright." Alfred nodded slowly.

Arthur curled up on his side, facing away from Alfred, and just when he was about to fall asleep, he felt Alfred wrap an arm around him and heard him whisper lowly;

"I would never hurt you."

He felt his heart flutter slightly as his mind slowly registered what he said, and then he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Arthur slowly woke that morning and found himself curled up to Alfred's chest, Alfred's arm wrapped tightly around his waist and his chin resting on top of his head.

He blushed brightly, his heart fluttering as he stared at his chest.

And in the moment, he realized something.

He had never put on any clothes after Alfred had pulled him out of the bath. And Alfred was still in his underwear.

And there they were.

He felt his face heat up more and he shrunk a bit. It seemed Alfred had not noticed any at all, which was a good thing.

'_It's a good thing that Francis is not here. He would love to use this as possible future black mail._' He thought to himself as he relaxed a bit in Alfred's arm.

He had to admit, he enjoyed how safe he felt in his arms. How comfortable his chest was. How perfect their bodies seemed to fit together.

'_Stop that!_' He scolded himself, furrowing his brows. '_You can't think of him like that! He's your ally!_'

And yet, he couldn't help but blush and hold back a chuckle when Alfred sighed and pulled him closer.

He glanced up at him, being careful not to wake him.

'_He looks so calm and peaceful in his sleep._' He thought, smiling to himself. '_I just wish he was like that all the time._'

He stared at him for a moment, and then his eyes traveled to his lips.

His mouth was open slightly and a small bit of drool was pooled under his cheek.

He held back another chuckled. He even looked cute.

Before he could even think of what he was doing, he saw his hand brushing a few stray strands of hair from his face.

He blushed brightly, but didn't pull his hand away. He was so curious about this suddenly feeling that came over him.

His heart beat fast and he could feel his palms begin to sweat.

What was this?

Why did he feel this way?

He leaned up a bit, bringing his face close to Alfred's, watching his sleeping face more closely.

Alfred, of course, was not fazed by how close he was.

Once again, before he could register his own thoughts, he found himself pressing his lips to Alfred's bottom lip.

His eyes went wide and he blushed darkly.

And then, Alfred's eyes slowly started to open.

He quickly leaned his head away and pretended to be asleep.

Alfred slowly blinked his eyes open, and then took a look at Arthur.

It took his groggy mind a moment to register what he was seeing, but once it finally did, his face turned a bright red and he blinked more.

Arthur took this opportunity to act as if he was just waking up as well, slowly opening his eyes and looked at him.

"D-Dude…" Alfred blinked a few times, his face turning an even darker shade of red.

And it was in that moment that Arthur decided he wanted to play a little game with Alfred.

"Good morning, Al." He gave him a smile, resting a hand on his chest.

'_Oh god, his chest. It's so tight and muscular._'

"Did you sleep well?"

Alfred looked completely flustered, his mouth opened slightly. "W-What?"

"I asked if you slept well, silly." His smile turned sweet. "You looked like you had fun last night."

"W-What are you talking about?" Alfred shrunk a bit, on his way to a full body blush.

"You don't remember?" He blinked, giving a small frown. "And you said it was the best you ever had!"

"D-Dude! I don't know what you're talking about!" He blinked again, raising his brows. "D-Did we…?"

"What do you think?"

"W-We… did?" He blinked slowly.

"Nope!" His smile turned into a devilish smirk. "I got you going, didn't I?"

"T-That not funny, Arthur!" Alfred frowned.

"Did you actually believe me?" He raised a brow, holding back a laugh.

Alfred blinked. "N-No!"

"Ha! You did! You're such a bad liar!"

"I'm not a bad liar!"

"So you admit you were lying?"

"N-No!"

He laughed loudly, shaking his head.

"It's not funny!"

"You're right. It's hilarious!"

"Dude, not cool!"

"Don't be such a wimp!"

"I'm not a wimp!"

"Alright, let's look at the bigger picture here. Obviously we're going to have to get up, so would you please remove your arm from around me?"

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Alfred slid his hand away.

"Good. Now." He stood from the bed, immediately missing the feeling of his arms around him. He stepped over to the closet, albeit a bit shakily, ignoring the feeling then picked out some clothes.

Alfred watched him silently, and by the time he realized he was watching his rear, Arthur was already pulling on a pair of pants.

He blushed brightly, blinking and looked away.

"Hey. You might want to put some close on as well. It's not exactly considered very gentlemanly to run around in your small clothes." Arthur muttered, pulling on a loose sweater.

"Hm?" Alfred blinked, looking back at him. "Oh, right. Yeah. I'll go get some on." He nodded, standing and exit Arthur's room.

Arthur walked back over to his bed slowly, he noted he was getting his strength back, but not all of it. He sat on the edge of his bed and rested his face in his hands.

He suddenly felt stupid. He didn't know why, but he felt bad.

Maybe he was feeling remorse over that joke he pulled on Alfred?

No. That was funny. There's no way he could feel bad about that.

No. It was the fact he believed him and he didn't exactly react the way he originally anticipated.

He looked like… he was relieved yet confused.

What did that mean?

Did he want that?

'_No. There's no way. Alfred doesn't 'swing' that way. Besides, he doesn't see me like that at all. …Right? Yes, I'm sure he doesn't._'

* * *

Once Alfred was finished getting dressed, he peeked his head into Arthur's room. "Dude, are you hungry? I think I might make something."

"I can cook today." Arthur nodded.

"No! I mean, uh, I don't want another incident like the kettle happening again."

"That wasn't my fault."

"No. I just don't want it to happen again."

"It won't."

"You can never be too careful."

Arthur sighed and nodded. "Alright, I won't cook today. What do you plan on making?"

"I don't know. It all depends on what you have in your fridge." He shrugged. "Wanna come down and help me pick something?"

"Alright." Arthur nodded, standing and walking with him down stairs, to the kitchen.

Alfred immediately walked over to the fridge, swinging the door open and looked inside.

"Hm… you don't have a lot in your fridge. I might have to make a run to the store for you. Ah! Here! Eggs!" He grinned, pulling out a carton with only a few eggs in it.

"You're right. I do need to go to market." Arthur muttered.

"I'll go later." Alfred nodded. "Now… where do you hide your bread?"

"I don't hide it. It's in the pantry."

"Okay!" He grinned, setting the eggs down on the counter, then ran to the pantry, grabbing what little bread was left and walked back. "How about you try a true American breakfast?"

"What would that be?"

"An egg sandwich!"

"A what?"

"An egg sandwich. It's two pieces of bread with egg in the middle."

"How about just eggs and toast?"

"Come on, dude! You so need an egg sandwich! I'll even toast the bread for you!"

Arthur sighed and shook his head. "Alright. I'll try it."

"Good!" Alfred grinned, turning to the stove.

Arthur had a sudden feeling he would regret this decision.

* * *

"That was… actually surprisingly good." Arthur nodded in approval after he was finished eating.

"Surprisingly? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's surprising because YOU made it."

"Hey! At least I didn't burn it, unlike you would!"

"Oi! I don't burn things!"

"Do too! It's like taking a bite of a coal when you cook!"

"My cooking is good!"

"Is not!"

"Is to!"

"Is not!"

Arthur huffed and looked away. "This is childish."

"You started it."

"Yes, well, now I'm ending it."

Alfred went silent then, looking down at his hands.

After a few minutes of silence, he stood from the table and went to exit the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Arthur stood, turning to look at him.

"I'm going to the store. We'll need something for dinner, you know."

"Oh." Arthur blinked. "You don't have to do that, I can do it."

"No. It's best if you don't drive for now. You still don't have all your strength."

"Well you don't know these roads."

"How hard can it be? You're roads are like mine, aren't they?"

"No. We drive on the left, here."

"What? The left?" Alfred blinked, furrowing his brows.

"You know what, I think it would be best if I just went with you." Arthur shook his head.

"Alright. Come on, then."

Arthur nodded, following him out, after grabbing his keys.

"Dude, seriously." Alfred said as he stepped up to his car. "Your car is awesome."

"Yeah, yeah. Here." He tossed him the keys, walking over to the left side of the car.

"Uh, dude. Isn't that the driver's side?" Alfred blinked.

"No. That's the right side."

"Wait, so you drive on the left and sit on the right?"

"Yes." Arthur nodded, opening the door. "Now hurry up and get in. It's cold out here and it looks like it might rain soon."

Alfred nodded and they both got in the car.

* * *

After an interesting trip to the market that involved Arthur having to yell at Alfred to stay on the correct side of the road and even almost taking over the steering wheel to avoid another vehicle, they where finally home.

Arthur let out a loud sigh as he sat a few bag of groceries down on the table, then turned to Alfred, who had a large arm full.

Alfred sat the groceries down on the counter and gave a happy sigh. "Well, that was an interesting trip!"

"If interesting you mean heart attack inducing."

"Hey. I'm not used to your backwards roads. It's not my fault you don't have your roads and cars set the right way."

Arthur sighed again and shook his head.

"So… now that we have food… what would you like to eat?"

"Eat? Already?"

"What do you mean, 'Already'? Dude, it's like five o'clock." Alfred furrowed his brows.

"Five? Wow. We were at the market for so long?"

"Well… you were being picky about what to get. You wouldn't even let me get chips!"

"Crisps."

"What? No. I'm talking about chips, dude. You know, potato chips."

"Whatever." He shook his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Make whatever you'd like. I'm really hungry."

"You're not? Dude, you haven't eaten a single thing after breakfast." Alfred blinked.

"I'm fine. I think I'll go to bed early. I'm quite tired."

"Alright. I'll make you something for if you get hungry." Alfred nodded.

"Do what you'd like." Arthur shook his head, making his way to his room.

Alfred watched him leave for a moment, then he sat down at the table, rubbing at his temple.

He was so confused.

Why does his stomach feel like it's in a knot?

Why is his heart beating so fast?

Why do his hands feel so sweaty?

Why can he not stop thinking of Arthur's smile from that morning?

That morning. He couldn't help to blush darkly.

What he said, the position they were in, it was hard not to believe him.

But why did he feel… disappointed when Arthur revealed it had been a joke?

Did he…?

'_No! Don't think like that! He's the guy that raised you, dude! You can't think of him like that! He was your care giver!_'

'**_The key word being 'WAS'._**' A voice in the back of his head retorted, it did not sound like his own.

'_W-What? Yes! He was! That's why I can't feel like that!_'

'**_Why not? He's not what he was now. You don't see him the same._**' The voice pressed. '**_You even said so yourself, so many years ago._**'

Alfred put his head and his hands. '_No. I didn't mean anything with that._'

'**_Didn't you? I believe 'I'm not your little brother anymore' means a lot._**'

'_I wanted to be my own man!_'

'**_And you know you don't see him that way. You know you seem him as more than just a caregiver. You know you hold feelings for him._**'

'_No!_' He shook his head, closing his eyes tightly.

'**_You know you do. How do you explain how you're feeling? Your face being so flushed, your heart rate increasing, your hands becoming sweaty and your stomach knotting, all when you think of him._**'

'_I-I'm just getting sick! Yeah! That's it! I'm coming down with the flu or a cold or something!_'

'**_Ha! And how long do you think that explanation will last? Especially if you find you're not sick at all!_**'

'_Nope. I'm definitely sick. Yep. And I'm hallucinating on top of it. Yep. That explains everything._'

'**_And what if you're not?_**'

'_Nope! I definitely am!_'

The voice suddenly become silent and Alfred sighed heavily.

Maybe it was time to head to bed.

He stood from the table and made his way to the spare bedroom, shaking his head as he reached the door.

That was incredibly odd.

He silently hoped he was right about being ill and hallucinating.

* * *

**An: Well... that was an interesting way to wake up, was it not?  
Hm... Odd how Alfred had a voice talking to him, Eh?  
What might that voice be trying to do?  
What's it's motive?  
I'll guess we'll find out in later chapters. ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Here's another Chapter! Hope you enjoy!**

**Here's a little note, I am hoping to post a new chapter every weekend, hopefully.**

* * *

Alfred woke up slowly, this time not to the sound of Arthur falling or anything like that.

Frankly, he was concerned.

He stood slowly, stretching and yawning as he opened the door and stepped over to Arthur's room. He cracked the door open a bit and peeked in.

Arthur looked to still be asleep, lying on his side, facing a window across the room.

But he wasn't, from where he stood, Alfred could see his eyes where open.

"Hey, Arthur. You're awake?" He opened the door more and stepped into the room a bit.

Arthur remained silent and just slowly nodded.

"Why are you still in the bed then?" Alfred raised a brow, giving a smile as he stepped over to the edge of his bed. "Are you being lazy?"

Arthur remained silent as he sat up and looked at him.

"Come on, dude. You need to ge-"

Alfred was suddenly cut off when Arthur grabbed his shoulders roughly and kissed him.

His eyes went wide and he stared at him, his face turning a dark red.

Soon he found himself melting into the kiss and slowly closing his eyes.

As Arthur kissed rougher, deepening the kiss more, he wrapped his arms around Alfred and pulled him down onto the bed over him.

Alfred kissed back just as roughly, resting his hands on Arthur's sides.

Arthur broke the kiss, looking up at Alfred with a smile. "Alfred… I-"

"What is it?" Alfred blinked, looking down at him.

"I-" Arthur seemed to freeze under him, everything seemed to become blurry.

Whatever Arthur had been trying to say was lost as everything become black.

* * *

Alfred woke up with a start, sweat beading off his brow and his breathing heavy.

He panted heavily as he sat up, his mind attempting to register the dream he had just had.

He looked around the room, the sun appeared to be just starting to come up.

He sat at the edge of the bed, putting his head in his hands.

"What the hell?" He muttered, giving a small shutter as he remembered the dream. "What was that?"

He decided it was best not to dwell too much on it and stood from the bed, making his way to the kitchen.

As he walked down the stairs, he could smell something horrible. Something burning.

He immediately freaked out and rushed into the kitchen, looking around and immediately saw Arthur standing by the stove with a cooking sheet full of what like large clumps of coal.

"Dude! Where you cooking? I thought something was on fire!"

"What do you mean?" Arthur blinked, furrowing his brows.

"Just look at that!" He exclaimed, stepping over to him and pointing at the cookie sheet.

"What? They're scones!" Arthur furrowed his brows, frowning.

"What did you do? Set them on fire?" He wrinkled up his nose, the smell of the 'scones' was horrible.

"No, you idiot! I cooked them!" Arthur glared, his cheeks a bright red.

"Dude! You burned them to hell! Just look!" He pointed at one and in doing so, bumped into the cooking sheet, making it look like it jumped. "Ah!" He jumped back. "Look! It tried to bit me!"

Arthur huffed, turning away and dropped the cooking sheet on the counter, then turned and stormed off.

"Arthur, dude-" Alfred started after him, but stopped as Arthur started for the stairs.

He let out a heavy sigh and returned to the kitchen, sitting down in a chair and rubbed at his forehead.

* * *

Arthur stormed into his room and sat at the edge of his bed, his arms crossed and his face a dark red.

"That bloody git." He muttered to himself, glaring at the floor. "Where does he get off insulting my cooking like that? Who does he think he is?"

He gave a small huff and laid back, staring up at the ceiling.

You would think the last thing he need was to think of that man, but suddenly, he couldn't help but to think of how he wrinkled up his nose. It was just so… cute.

His face turned a dark red and he quickly covered it with his hands, shaking his head. '_S-Shut up! Don't think that! What's wrong with you? He's a grown man! He's not cute!_'

But he couldn't stop thinking about it. His heart fluttered and he let out a shaky sigh.

'_This is stupid! Just stop thinking of him! He should be making you made right now!_' He gave a small huff as he sat back up.

It was gone, the image was finally gone.

He let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his forehead. '_Why do I keep thinking that way? What the bloody hell is wrong with me?_'

After receiving no answer from himself, he lowered his head and closed his eyes.

'_This is so stupid! I shouldn't feel anything like this for that idiot!_' He grit his teeth, closing his eyes tighter.

Why did his life have to be so complicated?

* * *

Alfred rested his forehead on his knees, he was on the couch know, his knees pulled up to his chest.

He felt so stupid. He didn't understand why he had to be like that to him.

Why did he have to say such things? Why can't he ever just keep his mouth such?

He closed his eyes, frowning. He hated how he was feeling. He had never felt anything like this before and he couldn't explain it.

Aren't hero's supposed to know everything?

His mind went over what he said to him, but then it took a turn.

He started to think of his dream.

The look on Arthur's face as he sat up, how soft his lips felt against his own.

The feeling of his body against him.

He blushed darkly and closed his eyes tightly. '_Dude! Stop thinking like that! Now's not the time!_'

But he couldn't help it. His mind seemed to wonder on its own.

His palms seemed to twitch as he remembered the feel of his sides, the cool fabric of his shirt.

Then his mind took a drastic turn. He started to think of what would have happened if he had not woken up.

His lips twitched as he saw himself kiss Arthur so passionately, so roughly. His palms began to sweat as he watched his hands travel up Arthur's shirt, feeling at his abdomen. The back of his head itched as he saw Arthur grip his hair tightly, giving a small tug and causing him to kiss him even rougher.

He snapped his eyes open the images where still there. He shook slightly and covered his dark red face with a hand.

'_S-Stop! This is stupid! I don't want to think about that!_' He could fill his eyes begin to water, his mind still showing him the images.

He huffed, shaking his head. This was getting to be too much.

After a moment, he stood, stalking to the door and stepped out, ready for some fresh air.

Though, he seemed to forget where he was. Where he was expecting to see bright sunshine, he saw nothing but dark clouds and the smell of oncoming rain.

He found a spot not too far from the house, just in Arthur's garden, where he sat to think some things over. The only sound to be heard was the wind and a few birds that dared to still be there with the impending storm.

He stayed there for a long moment, staring blankly at some roses as he collected his thoughts.

Japan was right, sometimes silence CAN be good for you.

"Alfred?"

He was broke out of his thought, he glanced up at the new comer. "Oh. Hey, Arthur."

"What are you doing out here?" Arthur glanced around, rubbing at his arm.

"I'm just thinking." Alfred nodded. "Japan said it was good sometimes to find a quiet place."

"Could you not find a place inside? It looks like it's going to rain, you know."

He gave a small chuckle and nodded. "Yeah, I know. I wanted some fresh air, too."

"Oh." Arthur nodded and went silent for a moment. "Do you mind if I… joined you?"

"Hm? Oh, sure. If you want." He nodded, giving him a small smile.

Arthur sat next to him, nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem, dude." He nodded, looking up to the sky.

Arthur slowly followed his gaze and gave a small sigh after a moment.

"What's wrong?" Alfred glanced down at him.

"Nothing I just… sometimes wish that the sky didn't look like that so much. My garden would look much more beautiful if it had some rays of sunlight beaming off my tulip's, don't you think?"

"Yeah." He muttered. After a moment, he laid back in the grass and folded his arms behind his head.

Arthur glanced at him and blinked. "What are you doing?"

"Looking at the sky." He replied simply, giving him a small smile.

"On the ground?"

"Yeah. Why don't you lay with me?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"It's one that I'm asking." Alfred chuckled, shaking his head. "Lay with me and look at the sky."

"Fine." Arthur muttered, laying back and looked to the sky.

After a long moment, Arthur cocked his head to the side. "What do you find so interesting about the sky that you have to lay down to look at it?"

Alfred chuckled again. "Well, you see, sometimes you can see shapes in the clouds. Come on, Arthur. You showed me what Cloud Watching was!"

"I know what you're talking about, idiot." He rolled his eyes. "But the clouds are so dark an ominous."

"So? You can still see stuff in them! Like that one," He pointed up, smiling. "It totally looks like a bunny wearing a cape."

Arthur blinked and looked to where he was pointing. "No. It looks like a bunny being chased by a fox."

"No! That's totally a cape behind it!"

"No! Obviously that's a fox!"

"Nu-uh! It's totally a super hero bunny!"

Arthur sighed and shook his head. "Are we really arguing about clouds?"

"Well, at least we agree there's a bunny in there somewhere." Alfred chuckled, grinning.

"Yeah." Arthur muttered.

Alfred glanced at him, staying silent as he watched him.

Arthur looked the clouds over, searching for something in them.

Alfred remained silent for a long time, then he brought a hand over and wrapped it around Arthur, pulling him into a hug.

Arthur's face turned a dark shade of red and he immediately tried to struggle away from him, but his grip was too strong. "O-Oi! Let me go, you idiot! Don't touch me!"

"No. Here me out, Arthur." Alfred gave a small frown, looking down at him.

Arthur stayed tense in his arms and glared up at him. "What?"

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier. About your cooking." Alfred frowned. "I… I didn't mean anything by it."

"You didn't mean anything by it?" Arthur huffed, glaring daggers at him.

"Yeah. I was only trying to make you laugh. I really like it when you smile." Alfred nodded, pulling him to his chest, hugging him tightly.

Arthur's eyes went wide and his face turned a darker shade of red, but he found himself relaxing in his arms, burying his face in his shoulder.

They stayed like that for a long time, just lying there, dwelling in each other's company.

In till Alfred felt a drop on his cheek.

That drop turned into a few, then many, then it started to pour.

They both immediately sat up, looking at each other as they became drenched.

Alfred laughed loudly, wrapping an arm around Arthur's shoulders and leaning over him a bit, blocking some of the rain from him. "That was anticlimactic!"

"It was." Arthur muttered, his face a dark red as he clung a bit close to Alfred's side.

"Let's hurry inside." Alfred nodded, leading him to the door.

Once they were inside, Alfred immediately ran a hand through his matted, wet hair, tossing it around and slung water at Arthur.

"Oi! Hey! Don't do that!" He snapped, glaring at him.

"Dude, you're already wet! What's a little more water going to hurt?" Alfred grinned.

"Well… you're getting water all over the floor!" Arthur huffed.

"So are you." Alfred pointed out, his grin widening.

"W-Well… shut up." He muttered, stalking upstairs to his bedroom.

He was just about to go to his closet and get a change of clothes when something fell over his head.

"Oi!" He pushed the fabric, a towel, away from his eyes, glaring at who was behind him.

Alfred gave him a wide grin and put a hand on the towel, rubbing it against Arthur's head. "You're welcome, Artie!"

"I didn't ask for this towel, and it's ARTHUR." He glared, his face turning a dark shade of red again.

Alfred let out a loud laugh and nodded. "Dude, you're soaked! You need to dry off!"

"I know that!" Arthur snapped, knocking his hand away from his head and pulled the towel away. "I was going to get a fresh change of clothes first."

Alfred attempted to hold back a laugh, but he failed miserably and laughed loudly, shaking his head.

Arthur's face turned a darker shade of red and he shrunk back a bit. "W-What? What are you laughing at?"

"Look in the mirror, dude!" Alfred said between laughs.

Arthur looked in the mirror and stared in horror at his hair. It was all puffed and standing straight. "What the bloody hell?"

Alfred continued to laugh loudly, wiping a tear from his eye. "Dude! That looks so awesome! You totally look like some kinda rocker from the 80's or something!"

"Shut up!" He snapped, throwing the towel at Alfred's face.

Alfred caught it easily, finally calming from his laughing fit.

Arthur frowned and attempted to fix his hair back, but it just popped back up. "Damn it." He grit his teeth, glaring at his own reflection.

Alfred laughed again, doubling over.

"S-Shut up!" He huffed, his face still a dark red. "This is not funny!"

"It's totally hilarious! It's like you have moose in that or something!" Alfred shook his head.

He huffed and sat on his bed, not caring about his still wet clothes.

He sat there in silence for a moment, then jumped a bit when he felt someone sit behind him.

"Sorry." Alfred muttered, sitting behind him on the bed.

"Whatever." He muttered.

"I know… that was bad of me, to laugh like that. It was a very un-hero thing to do."

" 'Un-hero' is not a word, Alfred." He rolled his eyes.

"It is now! The Hero said it, so obviously that makes it a word!" Alfred grinned, in a failed attempt to make him laugh.

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered, shaking his head.

They were both silent for a long moment, then Arthur jumped when he felt something on his head.

He quickly whipped around to see Alfred, his hands in the air, one hand clutching at a comb.

"What are you doing?" He questioned, looking him over.

"What does it look like? You're obviously having some problems with that hair of yours, so I thought I would take a crack at it." Alfred smiled.

"I can handle it myself." He glared.

"I'm not saying you can't."

Arthur was silent for a long moment, then he sighed and faced away again. "Alright. You try to do something with it."

"Okay!" Alfred grinned, then started running the comb through his hair again.

He gave small winces when Arthur tugged at his hair a few times, but otherwise remained relatively still, blushing madly as he felt Alfred's fingers brush against the back of his neck as he brushed it down.

"There." Alfred grinned, taking his hands away. "All done."

Arthur immediately stood and walked over to the mirror. He was surprised that Alfred had to managed to completely tangle his hair up more. His hair was slicked back, though, not how he usually had it styled.

"What's this?" He muttered, flicking at a few strands of hair that fell loose in front of his eyes.

"What?" Alfred stepped up behind him, leaning slightly over his shoulder to see him in the mirror. "I think you look nice like that."

He huffed, blushing a bit. "It makes my forehead look a bit large, don't you think?"

"That's surprising, seeing as those caterpillars cover up half of it." Alfred grinned, poking at his forehead, right above his eyebrow.

"Oi! Don't touch me! And my eyebrows are not caterpillars and they don't take up half of my forehead." He furrowed his brows, knocking Alfred's hand away.

Alfred laughed loudly, patting his back. "I know, dude! I'm just messing with you."

"Well, I would appreciate it greatly if you didn't." He glared at Alfred's reflection, then proceeded to toss his hair about with his hand, bringing it back to his normal, slightly sloppy style.

Alfred gave a slightly frown, but said nothing as he leaned away from him.

Arthur sighed, going to his closet once again, picking out another shirt to wear.

He started to pull off his still-soaked shirt, tossing it towards the door.

"W-What are you doing?" Alfred blushed, looking at him wide eyed.

"What does it look like?" Arthur muttered, pulling on the new shirt. "I'm changing. Would you kindly leave?"

"O-Oh, right." Alfred was quick to leave the room, his face a dark red.

Arthur blinked and raised a brow at his hurriedness, but decided not to question it as he quickly changed the rest of his clothes.

He was now in a white tank top and a pair of sweat pants. He was, quite frankly, surprised he had clothes like this stuck in the back of his closet. He supposed it was from that time he had tried working out more.

Which America quickly dampened his spirits on when he saw him dragging his 1945 Classic Blue Aston Martin up the steep hill he had just jogged up.

Now that he thought about it, America always seemed to try to one up him with just about everything he did.

He always acted as if it was unintentional, but now, looking back on it, that seemed highly unlikely.

He decided not to dwell on the thought and made his way out of his room and down the stairs, where he found Alfred sitting on the couch, changed into a hooded sweat shirt and sweat pants, looking out a window at the garden as it rained, his face a light shade of red.

"Alfred?" He questioned, stepping up to the couch.

"Hm? Yeah?" He glanced up at him, blinking.

"Can I… sit with you?" He asked a bit hesitantly.

Alfred blinked, a bit taken aback by the request, but nodded. "Yeah, dude. Of course."

He sat next to him and glanced out the window as well.

"Alfred… can I ask you a question… in all honesty." He finally said after a long moment of silence.

"Yeah, fire away." Alfred nodded, glancing at him.

He blushed a bit, looking down at his hands and he muttered. "W-What… do you think of me?"

"Hm?" Alfred blinked, then his cheeks turned a light shade of pink. "What's with this question all of a sudden?"

"I'm just… wondering." He muttered, glancing away as his blush darkened.

"Well I… I don't know. I guess… you're a cool dude." Alfred muttered, looking away as well, his cheeks turning a darker shade of pink. "Though you're… kind of strict and condescending."

"I am?" He blinked, frowning a bit.

"Yeah." Alfred nodded.

"What… do you like about me?" He asked a bit quietly.

"Hm… I don't know… your resolve, the fact you won't let anyone get to you." Alfred went silent for a moment, then looked at him. "I used to like your will, your drive. But… you've lost that."

Arthur closed his eyes and he nodded. "I see."

"Why is that, Arthur?" Alfred questioned, furrowing his brows slightly.

"Why is what?" He muttered.

"Why do you try… try to end it?"

"It's complicated." He shook his head, frowning.

"Why is it complicated? Why can't you just say what's making you want to end it?"

"Why are you playing 20 questions with me?" Arthur glanced up at him, glaring.

"Why are you not answering the questions?" Alfred pressed, furrowing his brows more.

"Because, I don't want to talk about it." Arthur's glare turned hard and icy. "Don't ask stupid questions."

"Are they stupid? Arthur, I just want to know what makes you feel like this so I can help you." Alfred shook his head.

"I don't need your help." Arthur grit his teeth, balling his hands into fists.

"Please Arthur, I want to help you. That's what friends do." Alfred put a hand on his shoulder.

Arthur's heart seemed to sink at that word and his eyes went wide.

'_Friends._'

"Y-You're such an idiot." He forced Alfred's hand off his shoulder and stood, turning away, he could already feel tears beginning to stink the corner of his eyes. "I'm going to bed." He muttered, stalking up the stairs.

Alfred watched him go, then lowered his head and sighed heavily, the only sound to be heard now was the heavy rain and thunder outside.

'_What did I say?_' He thought, resting his face in the palm of his hand. '_Why did he react such a way when I said 'friends'? Does he… not see us that way? Does he see us as something more?_'

He quickly shook his head, frowning. '_No, stop that. Obviously he was just surprised I considered him a friend and was clearly appalled by that. Yes, that was it. I misread his expression. He obviously looked disgusted, not hurt. Yeah, he was disgusted. That's it._'

But his heart didn't seem to like that conclusion, or his stomach.

A small pain appeared in the center of his chest and his stomach felt like it had down a flip.

He closed his eyes tightly, shaking his head. '_Don't worry, Jones. You're used to him being disgusted and humiliated by you. Don't worry._'

But his words of comfort to himself did not seem to work, his chest started to ache more.

He smacked his forehead roughly, he wished so much he knew what this feeling was. Was he having a heart attack? What was it? Why did his chest hurt so much?

He decided it would be best to go to bed as Arthur did and made his slow trek up the stairs, the pain still there.

* * *

Arthur laid on his bed, curling up into a tight ball as he attempted to prevent the tears that where now freely streaming down his cheeks.

Why was this affecting him so? Why was he so disappointed to know Alfred thought of him as a friend?

He had realized, someone inside of him, a small hope was burning that Alfred would see him as more than that. But once again, he had his hope, no matter how small it was, crushed beneath that damnable American's boot.

He hated himself for thinking that Alfred could ever see him more than that. He had been his caretaker for so many years, for heaven's sake. He himself should not even be contemplating these feelings.

But he did, he had realized what he had been feeling. Something he had not felt in such a very, very, very long time.

He was developing feelings for Alfred, and he didn't understand why. He was supposed to hate him!

Wasn't he?

But those feelings where quickly crushed as soon as the where discovered, leaving his heart broken and torn. Leaving him to wish that damned man had just left him at the hospital.

Wishing he had just let him die.

This thought stirred an idea in his mind. A plan to try again.

This time, he would not fail.

* * *

**AN: Hm... I wonder what Arthur could be planning. I guess we'll just have to wait and see!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I'll try to update every Saturday, if possible.  
I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Warning: Talk of suicide. If you don't like, skip please. ^^**

* * *

Alfred found himself in a bright field, the grass was tall and the wind swept the smell of dandelions over him.

He took in the smell, basking in the light for a moment and smiled brightly. It had been a while since he felt the warm rays of the sun.

"Oi! Alfred!"

He quickly turned around to his name being called by a familiar voice. His eyes immediately widened as he saw Arthur standing in a brown coat, facing away from him.

He attempted to call out to the other man, but he could not find his voice. He blinked, placing his hand over his throat. What was going on?

He could hear Arthur talking a bit lowly from where he was standing, so he decided to go and get his attention.

He walked up to him and his eyes went even wider than before, seeing his younger self sitting at Arthur's feet, clutching a black and white bunny.

"Hey, Artie!" His younger self smiled brightly, seeing the older man.

"Hey, kid. I came to visit you." Arthur smiled, the wind sweeping around them.

Alfred watched silently, wondering why he was seeing this.

"Oh! That's great!" His younger selves smile turned into a wide grin. "I'm glad to have you as company, Artie!"

He had to admit, he looked very cute when he was younger.

In a totally heroic way, that is.

Arthur's smile turned into a triumphant grin and he gave a curt nod. "Alright then! From this day on, you'll be my colony! My little brother!"

"I will?" His younger self blinked, cocking his head slightly. "So you're my big brother?"

Arthur's eyes seemed to widen at that and he blinked. "Me… a big brother?" He went silent for a moment, the he rubbed at his nose with his index finger. "Just call me Arthur."

"Okay, Arthur!" His younger self grinned, running up to him and holding up his hand.

Arthur reached down a hand to his younger self, smiling brightly. "Come on, Alfred. Let's go home."

Then the scene changed, everything became dark for a second, then it brightened a bit.

The first thing Alfred noticed was the feeling of mud beneath his feet, then the rain pouring heavily on his back.

As he looked around, it suddenly hit him where he was.

A battle field.

He found two people standing not too far away, one with a brigade of soldiers behind him, the other alone. He stepped over to him, wondering what it was.

Then he saw himself, slightly younger, and Arthur, standing there, pointing their guns at each other.

Alfred's eyes went wide as he finally realized what was going on. He was seeing the Revolutionary War's final battle.

"I'm claiming my independence, Arthur!" His younger self called over the rain, clutching a tad bit shakily at his musket.

"No! I won't allow it!" Arthur growled lowly, tightening his grip on his musket, and within a second, he charge at Alfred's younger self.

A loud ring rang through the air as Arthur's blade of his gun stuck Alfred's younger selves musket.

Arthur was quick to toss away Alfred's musket and pointed his blade to his throat.

"Ready, aim!" The captain of Alfred's brigade of men called, all soldiers pointing their guns at Arthur.

"You idiot!" Arthur glared, shaking slightly as Alfred's body tensed. "Why can't you follow anything through till the end?"

They both remained silent, the only sound was Arthur's soft panting and the rain beating down heavily.

"I can't do it. There's no way I could shoot you." Arthur lowered his gun, his brows furrowed, a deep frown set on his face. After a moment, he finally dropped his gun and fell to his knees, covering his face with a hand. "Why? Damn it, why?" He sobbed, his shoulders shaking.

Alfred stood there, watching him blankly. Then finally he finally spoke. "You used to be so big."

Then, something changed. Something happened that had not happened before.

Alfred's younger self dropped to his knee's before Arthur, removing the other's hand from his face and forced him to look at him.

"I'm not your little brother anymore." Alfred's young selves spoke softly, barely auditable over the rain.

Then, the unthinkable happened.

His younger self gently took a hold of Arthur's chin, then closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to the others.

* * *

Alfred sat up quickly, panting heavily. He ran a hand over his face, wiping away the sweat that was beating off his forehead.

"What the hell was that?" He muttered, panting softly.

He glanced up, the sun was just starting to come up. He decided it would be best to get up.

He stood, making his way downstairs. He didn't smell something burning, so he was a bit concerned.

He stepped into the kitchen and Arthur wasn't there. He looked in the living room, but he wasn't there either. He looked all over the house, but he wasn't there.

Then an idea suddenly struck him and he glanced out the window in the living room, out at the garden.

There was Arthur, sitting in the place they had been before, staring up at the sky.

He smiled and gave a small chuckle. He was relieved to see him alright.

He stepped out of the house and walked over to him, glancing up at the sky as well.

"It's a nice day today." He pointed out. "There's not as many clouds today as there was yesterday."

"Yeah." Arthur muttered, nodding.

They both remained quiet for a long time, then Arthur looked at him.

"Alfred, can you do something for me?"

"Yes, sure. What is it?" He blinked, looking down at him.

"Can you go run to the market and grab a few things for me?"

"Sure, dude. Do you have a list?" He smiled.

"Uh… no. I can go write one for you quickly, though." Arthur shook his head.

"That's alright. You can just tell me." He gave a small chuckle.

"No, I think it's best if I wrote it down. It's quite a lot of stuff."

"Alright, dude. Go ahead, if you want."

Arthur nodded and headed inside.

Alfred remained outside, glancing up at the sky.

After a few minutes, Arthur came back with a list and handed it to him.

Alfred looked it over and blinked. "You weren't kidding when you said it was a lot."

"Yeah… that's a week worth of stuff." Arthur nodded.

"Well, at least we won't have to go to the store for another week, hm?" Alfred smiled brightly, standing.

"Yeah." Arthur muttered.

"Alright, I'll go pick this stuff up. What are you going to do while I'm gone?"

"Oh… I think I might stay out here for a little while and then go in and read a book." Arthur nodded.

"Okay! I'll be back soon!" He took off to the front of the house.

Arthur let out a sigh, stepping inside and watched him leave through a window.

After he was certain he was gone, Arthur stalked up the stairs and went to the bathroom.

He started rummaging through the medicine cabinet, then pulled out a bottle, reading it over.

"Ah. Aspirin. Perfect." He muttered to himself, unscrewing the top and looked it. There were quite a few tablets in here.

He let out a low sigh, looking at himself in the mirror.

He looked terrible. His hair was messy, he had large bags under his eyes accompanied by dark circles.

He sighed again, this time it was a bit shaky.

He took the bottle, quickly downing half of the contents.

He waited for a moment, then his stomach began to turn. He held back the bile he could feel rising and closed his eyes tightly.

After a few moments, he took the bottle and downs more.

His stomach knotted and he gagged, shaking slightly as he leaned over the sink.

His eyes went wide as he heard the door close downstairs and someone walk in.

But he didn't have time to think who it might be. He rushed to the toilet, dropping the bottle and retched violently.

* * *

Alfred had returned to the house, he had forgot to ask Arthur something.

He was just about to call for him when he heard retching from upstairs.

He immediately ran up the stairs, rushing into the bathroom.

He saw Arthur hovering over the toilet, a opened bottle of medicine at his feet.

Alfred immediately rushed over to his side, kneeling next to him.

He pat Arthur's back and frowned as he retched more. His eyes were drawn to the bottle and he quickly picked it up. It was nearly empty.

"Arthur, how many of these did you take?" He questioned as Arthur's retching finally died down.

Arthur said nothing as he leaned over the bowl more, panting heavily.

"Arthur," Alfred pressed, glancing at him, his eyes hard. "How many of these did you take?"

"What do you care?" Arthur whispered in a hoarse voice, leaning back.

Alfred stayed silent for a minute, then grabbed his shoulders. "Answer me, Arthur."

"Nearly all the bottle." Arthur said, a bit monotone.

"Arthur! You could have killed yourself!" Alfred snapped, clutching the bottle tightly.

"That's the point." Arthur shook his head, then clutched his stomach as a pain shot through it.

Alfred's eyes went wide. "That stuffs probably in your system now, you probably haven't thrown it all up." He quickly pulled out his phone, dialing 911.

"W-What are you doing?" Arthur glanced up at him, gritting his teeth as the pain became worse and he could feel the need to vomit rise again.

"I'm calling an ambulance. You need to get to a hospital." He muttered, putting the phone to his ear.

"No! Don't call! Alfred!" Arthur shook, his eyes going wide, then he quickly turned back to the toilet, retching again.

Alfred quickly gave information to the responder, then went to patting Arthur's back.

And ambulance was there quickly and they escorted Arthur out, he was nearly unconscious, so tired from retching so much.

By the time the doors to the ambulance closed, he was had passed out.

* * *

Arthur slowly woke up, a bright light shining in his face.

He gave a small, barely audible groan, putting an arm over his eyes.

He heard a door open a a familiar voice say; "Oh, you're awake."

He heard someone then move a chair, he had a pretty good idea who it was.

"I got you something from the cafeteria. I know how much the hospital food sucks. And don't worry, it's not a hamburger."

"Why?" He muttered hoarsely.

"Hm? What was that?"

"Why did you do this again?" He glanced away from the light, looking down at Alfred.

Alfred sighed, sitting down what he was holding on the table nearby. "Because, Arthur. That's what Heroes do. Save people in trouble."

"You're hardly classified as a hero." He glared, wrinkling his nose a bit.

"I saved you, didn't I?" Alfred crossed his arms, giving a small, half-hearted glare back.

"I didn't ask for you to."

"Do you think Heroes wait for someone to ASK to be saved?"

"I didn't want to be."

Alfred sighed and shook his head. "You know what? Forget it, Arthur."

"You still haven't answered my question. Why?"

Alfred stayed silent for a long moment, looking down at his hands. "Do you really want to know why?"

"That's why I asked." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Because… I… I don't know what I would do without you, Arthur. I…" Alfred looked away, blushing a bit. "You're important to me."

"I am?" Arthur's eyes went a bit wide. "W-Why? Is it because… I took care of you?"

"No." Alfred muttered.

"Then… why?" Arthur blinked.

"You're… a good… friend, Arthur." Alfred slowly nodded.

'_That word again. 'Friend'._' Arthur thought, furrowing his brows. "Oh. I see."

They were both silent for a long while, then Alfred tossed him a small box.

"W-What's this?" He blinked, glancing up at him.

"It's a salad. I'd figured you wouldn't like what they're going to serve you, so I got you something at the cafeteria." Alfred nodded, giving a small smile.

"Oh." He muttered. "Thank you, Alfred. But… I'm not hungry right now."

Alfred nodded and stood. "Do you want anything? Something to drink, maybe?"

"No, I'm fine." He shook his head.

"Alright, well, I think I'm going to run down and get me a diet coke."

"Diet..?" Arthur blinked.

"Yeah! I'm on a diet! Gotta cut down on those carbs, man!" Alfred grinned, practically skipping out of the room.

Arthur gave a small sigh, looking up at the ceiling.

'_This is so stupid. He's so stupid. You're stupid. It's all stupid!_' He thought, closing his eyes, feeling tears beginning to sting the corner of his eyes.

Why did hurt so much to know he thought of him as a friend?

Why couldn't these feelings just disappear?

Why did his life have to be so complicated?

And why did Alfred have to keep dragging him back into it?

He felt the tears finally slip through his hold, freely streaming down his cheeks. He curled up into a tight ball and sobbed silently.

Alfred returned a few moments later, he could hear his sniffs as he walked into the room, sitting a few things down on the table. "Arthur, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." His voice was still hoarse, it seemed like a it was a bit worse as well.

"You don't look fine." Alfred muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong! Don't touch me, you idiot!" He snapped, turning away more.

Alfred was taken aback by his sudden outburst, but he sighed and shook his head. "Alright, then." He removed his hand from his shoulder. "I got you some tea. It might not be the best, but it's the best I could get from here."

Arthur remained silent, still facing away from him.

They stayed like this for a long while, in till Arthur jumped when he felt an arm snake around his waist.

He quickly turned his head to see Alfred, snoring ever so lightly, laying behind him.

He blushed brightly and blinked. '_He is so strange. First he says we're friends… then he falls asleep next to me like this._'

Alfred gave a small sigh, and continued to snore lightly.

Arthur lifted his arm a bit, turning onto his other side to face him, being careful not to wake him. He looked at his face, he looked so peaceful when he slept.

Alfred suddenly tightened his hold on him, pulling him close and rested his cheek on the top of his head.

Arthur blushed brightly, burying his face in his chest.

He had not noticed how much he yearned to be held by him again, he let out a small sigh as he wrapped his own arm around Alfred, getting comfortable against him.

He wished they could stay like this, but, he knew Alfred would leave his side as soon as he noticed.

And like hell he would show Alfred that he liked this.

He just saw them as friends… right?

He decided not to dwell on this thought and curled up next to him, burying himself deeper into his chest.

He noted that he smelled nice, surprisingly not like Hamburgers or grease, but nice.

He found himself closing his eyes, and he soon faded off to sleep.

* * *

**AN: Here it is. I hope you enjoyed.  
They're so cute when they cuddle~**


	7. Chapter 7

Arthur slowly woke up, though he was incredibly reluctant. He had not slept this well for quite some time. He slowly cracked an eye open and blushed brightly, seeing Alfred still sound asleep next to him.

His heart fluttered as he watched Alfred's face. How his eyes seemed to shift a bit under their lids, how a small trail of drool led from his bottom lip to the pillow, the light snoring that escaped him with every breath, how completely relaxed his features where and how handsome he seemed.

'_No! Stop that! You can't think that way! He only thinks of you as a… friend._' He closed his eyes tightly, his face heating up.

Alfred shifted a bit, pulling him closer.

His heart felt as if it skipped a beat and he glanced up at him with wide eyes.

Alfred had his eyes half open and he was looking down at him. "Is there something wrong, Arthur?"

He could feel his entire face become hot, as if he had just stuck a hot pan against his cheeks.

Alfred's eyebrows knit together and he gave a small frown. "Are you alright?"

He blinked and nodded. "Y-Yeah."

"Are you sure?" Alfred blinked, leaning down a bit too where his face was inches away from Arthur's.

His heart fluttered again and he attempted to lean away, but Alfred had him pinned. "Y-Yes! I'm fine! Let go of me, idiot!" He thrashed a bit against him, attempting to break his hold.

Alfred rolled his eyes and let go, then grabbed his shoulders and pushed him on his back and hovered over him.

Arthur's eyes went wide and his face turned a darker shade of red, if that where possible. "What are you doing!? Idiot, get off of me!"

Alfred made no attempt to move and looked him in the eye, his expression completely serious. Not a cocky grin like one would expect.

"Get off of me, you idiot!" He thrashed underneath him, closing his eyes tightly.

"No, I need to tell you something." Alfred muttered, not affected by his obvious discomfort.

"You don't have to be on top of me to tell me!" Arthur glared up at him, his face getting hotter.

"Listen, will you?" Alfred furrowed his brows a bit, then sighed, glancing away. "What I said yesterday… about my reason for saving you… well.. it wasn't all together true."

"What… do you mean?" Arthur blinked, he was slightly afraid of what he was going to say next.

Was he really not important to him?

"I mean," Alfred shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment, then looked back at him. "I mean, about you being a good friend, Arthur."

Arthur felt a small pang of hurt in his heart and he glanced away. "So… I'm not your friend, then?"

"No." Alfred furrowed his brows.

Arthur closed his eyes tightly. '_That's okay._' He told himself. '_It doesn't matter._'

"You're more than that." Alfred finally muttered after a moment.

"More?" Arthur blinked, glancing back at him.

"Yeah." Alfred let out a small sigh and sat up, setting at the edge of the bed. "I've been having these weird… feelings recently. I couldn't explain them before, but now that I've had time to think about it, I think I understand them."

'_Oh god, is he…?_' Arthur sat up being him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "What is it?"

Alfred closed his eyes for a moment, then turned to look at him, speaking quickly. "I don't know if you feel the same, but I have to say it and get it off my chest so I can get back to doing my heroic duties. Arthur I-" He paused, then spoke a slowly. "I… think I love you."

Arthur's eyes went wide and her stared at him for a moment, then finally creaked out; "Y-You… do?"

Alfred nodded slowly, then faced away. "I understand if you don't feel the same, I just wanted to get that out there."

Arthur could feel tears beginning to sting the corner of his eyes and he buried his face in Alfred's back, choking back a sob. "Y-You stupid idiot!"

Alfred blinked and turned his head, glanced at him from the corner of his eye.

"You should have told me sooner!" Arthur hit his back then gripped at his shirt.

Alfred took a moment to register what he had said, then he slowly turned and wrapped his arms around him.

Arthur buried his face in Alfred's chest and sobbed quietly, shaking in his arms. After a moment, his shaking finally died down and he glanced up at Alfred, tears straining his cheeks. "I… I love you too, Alfred."

"You do?" Alfred's eyes seemed too narrow for a moment, then he glared at him. "Ew, dude! I was totally joking! That's disgusting! How could you even think that!"

Arthur blinked up at him and furrowed his brows. "W-What?"

"That's gross, man!" Alfred immediately let go of him and leaned away. "Seriously! What would make you really think I swing that way?"

"A-Alfred…" He frowned, reaching a hand out to him.

Alfred immediately drew back and glared more. "Dude, don't touch me! What's wrong with you?" He put his hands on Arthur chest and pushed him roughly away.

Arthur let out a startled shout as he fell off the bed.

Arthur landed on the cold floor roughly, knocking the air out of him. He let out a small groan and kept his eyes closed.

"Arthur! Dude! Are you okay?" Alfred leaned over the side of the bed, being startled awake. "Did you fall off the bed?"

Arthur remained on the floor for a moment, then jumped up and glared at him, pointing an accusing finger. "You should know! You where the one that pushed me off!"

Alfred blinked and cocked his head slightly, furrowing his brows. "What do you mean, dude? I didn't push you."

"Yes you did! You said something stupid then you pushed me!" He crossed his arms tightly over his chest as a small pain ripped from the center of it.

"No, dude. I've been asleep in till just now. You woke me up when you fell." Alfred blinked again. "Did you have a dream?"

"It was way too real to be a dream!" He snapped, his eyes narrowing.

"Dreams can be that way." Alfred gave a small yawn. "Besides, why would I push you off the bed? That's stupid. I like sleeping next to you."

He attempted to ignore that last statement and glared more. "Oh, shut it. You can't even stand to be around me."

Alfred cocked his head to the side more and sat up fully. "Dude, that's not true."

"Isn't it?" Arthur glanced away.

"If I can't stand to be around you I wouldn't be here, Arthur." Alfred shook his head, frowning. "Really, what's gotten into you all of a sudden?"

"Shut up!" Arthur seemed to go rigid and he turned away quickly. "Forget it, Alfred! Why don't you just go home? I'll be fine!"

"Because the last time I left you alone is the reason we're here." Alfred frowned, glancing down.

"And I told you I didn't want you to save me! If you had just left like I had asked, we wouldn't be here!" Arthur glared at the floor.

"You wouldn't be here." Alfred muttered.

"Exactly." He hissed out, closing his eyes tightly.

"I told you… you're too important to me to ever let that happen."

"Don't patronize me!"

"I'm not. I'm being serious, Arthur." Alfred let out a small sigh and stood, walking up behind him.

"You're just saying that." Arthur let out a small huff. "You don't mean that. You're just telling me what you think I want to hear."

Alfred let out a small sigh and shook his head. "No, Arthur. I'm being completely serious." He reached out a hand and gently touched his shoulder.

Arthur could feel the skin that Alfred touched begin to heat up and he suppressed a small shudder. "No you're not." He muttered, still glaring at the floor, his cheeks turning a dark red.

"Look at me, Arthur." Alfred grabbed his shoulder a bit roughly and turned him around to face him. "Do I look like I'm pulling your chain?"

Alfred's face was completely serious, the only thing Arthur could see in his eyes was worry, not a taunting, cute, cocky grin he usually carried.

'_His grins not cute! You hate that grin!_' He could feel his face heat up as he stared at him.

"I am serious, Arthur. You are very important to me." Alfred gave a small nod, frowning. "I'm sorry that I… don't make that clear enough."

"You think of me as a… friend?" Arthur blinked.

"Do you think of me as one?" Alfred raised a brow a bit.

"I… I don't… know what I think of you." Arthur glanced back down, he could feel his face heating up more. '_No! Don't say something like that! He might be dense, but he'll find out eventually if you keep being stupid like this!_'

"How can you not know what you think of me?" Alfred blinked, furrowing his brows. "It's pretty obvious you're quite sure what you think."

"And… what do you think I think?" Arthur continued to stare at the floor.

"That…" Alfred went silent for a moment, then let out a sigh. "From how you've acted, for such a long time, that you hate me."

"You think I hate you?" Arthur glanced up at him, frowning.

"Well… it's hard not to, considering." Alfred sat back down on the edge of the bed, looking away. "If you didn't, you wouldn't say things like you normally do. You wouldn't-" Alfred went silent then, closing his eyes tightly.

Arthur stay silent for a few minutes, then slowly sat next to Alfred and rested his head on his shoulder, blushing darkly. "I'm… sorry." He muttered, frowning.

Alfred's face heated up and he glanced over at him. "What?"

"I'm sorry… about how I act. I really am. There's just… so much going on with me, Alfred. I don't really mean to come off that way, to make it look like I hate you. I don't hate you. I never hated you." Arthur glanced up at him, he could already begin to feel the corners of his eyes begin to sting with tears.

Alfred's eyes went wide for a moment, then he hugged him tightly. "I'm glad."

Arthur's eyes went wide, suddenly reminded of his dream, but he stayed there. After a moment, he slowly hugged back and buried his face in his shoulder.

"Sorry." Alfred muttered, pulling away after a moment.

"N-No… It's okay. I needed that." Arthur nodded, giving him a small slight smile, he immediately missed the feeling of Alfred's arms around him. After a moment of silence, he finally spoke up again. "You still haven't answered my question."

"You haven't answered mine either." Alfred raised a brow.

"Yes I did. I told you I didn't know." Arthur furrowed his brows, his small smile fading.

"That's not a good enough answer." Alfred furrowed his brows as well.

"Well…" Arthur's cheeks heated up against he glanced away. "I… I don't know."

"Don't you?" Alfred pressed, leaning closer to him.

"Of course I don't know!" Arthur gave him a small glare, his face turning a dark red.

"Why don't you?" Alfred raised a brow again.

"Why are you asking stupid questions?" Arthur leaned back a bit.

"Are they stupid? I just wanted to know." He leaned away, giving a small frown.

"Sorry." Arthur muttered, shrinking back a bit.

"No, it's okay. It's cool if you don't know." Alfred nodded. "To answer your question, I don't know either."

He blinked and furrowed his brows slightly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean-" Alfred began, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

They both glanced over and a nurse walked in with a smile on her face.

"Good morning, Mr. Kirkland." The nurse nodded to Arthur. "I just came to tell you you're free to go now whenever you'd like. Just make sure to check out first, yes?"

Arthur nodded and gave his thanks to the nurse, then turned back to Alfred. "What where you saying?"

"Never mind. Let's just get out of here. Hospitals give me the creeps." Alfred stood from the bed, stretching an arm.

"Hospitals give you the creeps?" Arthur raised a brow and attempted to hold back a snicker.

"Yeah." Alfred glanced back at him and his face turned a light shade of red. "Hey! Don't laugh! It's not my fault they're full of sick people and the nurses are so creepily happy all the time!"

Arthur couldn't help but to laugh loudly, shaking his head. "Alright, Alfred. I get it. We'll go. By the way, did you get me a change of clothes?"

"Hm?" Alfred blinked and glanced up at the ceiling for a second, then looked back. "No, I totally forgot to."

Arthur let out a smile sigh and nodded. "Alright, and what about the clothes I was wearing before?"

"Those had to be thrown away. They were disgusting." Alfred wrinkled up his nose at the thought. "You would have never been able to clean those."

Arthur's face immediately fell and his eye twitched a bit. "So you're saying… I'm going to have to leave here… in a hospital gown?"

"Looks like it." Alfred rubbed the back of his head, giving a small, sheepish smile.

"A hospital gown that has my arse on totally display to the world!" Arthur's face turned red and he glared at Alfred. "How could you forget to get me some clothes, Alfred?"

"Sorry, sorry! I was in such a panic I didn't have my head on straight!" Alfred shook his head.

"Well, I'm not leaving here in just a gown. That's unseemly!" Arthur turned away, crossing his arms tightly over his chest.

"Come on, Artie! Plenty of people have to do that!" Alfred furrowed his brows, frowning.

"I don't and I not going to." Arthur turned up his nose.

"You're so stuck up!" Alfred shook his head.

"I'm not stuck up! I'm just a gentleman! And gentlemen don't walk about in a gown that shows their arse!" Arthur shot him a glare.

"Fine! Here!" Alfred took of his jacket and threw it at Arthur, hitting him in the face with it.

"Ow! That was uncalled for." He pulled the jacket off his face and glared again.

"Just use it, will you? I want to get of here." Alfred shook his head.

"Use it?" He blinked, looking down at the jacket.

"Yeah. Wrap it around your waist or something. I don't care. Just as long as we leave." Alfred nodded.

He looked up at them then back down at the jacket. His fingers briefly brushed over the patch on the shoulder in the shape of a plane. He stood after a moment and quickly pulled on the jacket and pulled it closer. It was quite large on him, the shoulders more broad, the middle wide, and it came down to nearly halfway down his thigh.

'_Hm… Alfred is a big guy._' He glanced over at Alfred, who was glancing at him and blushing lightly.

"Will that do?" Alfred said after a moment.

"Yeah, it will do for now." Arthur nodded, pushing the sleeves up. He didn't want the sleeves to just hang over his hands. That's just sloppy.

"Alright, let's get out of here then." Alfred nodded, immediately heading out the door.

He followed after him and they quickly stopped at the desk not far away, checked out, then they were on their way again.

As they were waiting for an elevator, Arthur felt eyes on him. He quickly glanced around and spotted a couple of women staring at him, a few men as well.

Staring at his arms.

He quickly looked down at his arms and winced when he noticed the scars. He quickly pulled the sleeves of the jacket back down and crossed his arms tightly over his chest.

"Are you alright?" Alfred glanced at him, blinking.

"Yeah." Arthur nodded. "It's just… a bit cold in here, is all."

"Don't worry. I'll turn the heat on for you in the car once we get out." Alfred nodded.

"Thanks." He muttered, giving a small nod.

After a long and silent drive, they finally returned home and Arthur immediately started heading up the stairs.

"What are you going?" Alfred blinked, stepping to the foot of the stairs and watched him.

"I'm going to change! I'm not going around in your jacket and a hospital gown all day!" Arthur huffed, going into his room.

"And what's wrong with that?" Alfred called up, grinning.

"Shut up!" Arthur blushed brightly, stomping over to his closet and started to rummage through for something comfortable. "It's unseemly!"

"Sure, sure." Alfred shook his head, stepping into the living room and plopped down on the couch, propped his feet up on the coffee table and turned on the Television, surfing through the channels.

Alfred quickly found a sweater and a pair of pants and threw them on. He looked down at America's jacket, which he had laid on the bed. After a moment, he threw the jacket back on and went downstairs. He immediately sat next to Alfred on the couch, his legs folded underneath him.

"Hey." Alfred muttered, then glanced over at him. "You're still wearing that?"

"Hm?" Arthur blinked and looked down at the jacket, then back at Alfred. "Oh, yeah. I'm still a bit cold."

"Do you want me to go turn on the heat for you?" Alfred started to move to get up.

"No, no." Alfred placed a hand on his arm, causing him to stop mid stand. "I'm alright. You're jacket is more than enough to warm me up."

"Alright then." Alfred let out a small sigh as he sat back down and propped his feet back up.

"Oi, get your feet off my coffee table." Arthur glared.

"But Artie." Alfred whined, pouting at him.

"Just look at your filthy boots! You'll get mud all over it! Now get them off!" Arthur smacked his leg, furrowing his brows.

"Fine then!" Alfred put his feet down, then kicked off his boots, then put his feet back up.

Arthur let out a small sigh and shook his head. "You're impossible."

"At least I'm not wearing my "filthy boots" anymore." Alfred flashed him a grin.

"Yes, but your feet smell horrid!" He wrinkled up his nose.

"My feet don't stink! That's just your imagination!" Alfred pouted again, crossing his arms.

"My imagination is not so well that it can conjure up such a horrible stench." He rolled his eyes.

"Dude, my feet seriously don't stink!" Alfred pouted more, shrinking back in couch.

"Yes, yes. Whatever you so." Arthur muttered, looking at the television. "What are you watching?"

"Hm? Oh, I don't know. Some Brit show." Alfred shrugged.

His brow twitched and he rolled his eyes. "Yes, there are a lot of those here, Alfred."

"Dude, you guys need more American TV shows." Alfred pouted, flipping through the channels again.

"Oh, yes. Let me just call up the BBC and tell them to start playing more American television." Arthur shook his head.

"You can do that?" Alfred blinked, glancing at him.

"No! Of course I can't!" He furrowed his brows, glancing at Alfred.

"Don't play like that, dude. I thought you were serious." Alfred pouted again, going back to surfing through the channels.

"You need to learn the meaning of 'sarcasm'." He sighed, shaking his head again.

"I know what it means!" Alfred frowned.

"Yes, you just don't know how to tell when it's being used." He nodded.

They both where silent for a long moment, just watching a random show that Alfred turned to.

After a few minutes, Arthur pulled the jacket closer to him, taking in the smell. It smelled just like him. Not like hamburgers, not like grease, but like him.

He went ridged when he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder and he quickly glanced up to look at Alfred. "What are you doing?"

"Are you still cold?" Alfred glanced down at him, his brows furrowed a bit.

"Yeah… a bit." He muttered, glancing away. He went more ridged when Alfred pulled him closer and he blushed darkly. After a few moments, he relaxed against him and laid his head on his chest.

They continued to watch the television for a while longer, then Arthur blinked when he felt something heavy on the top of his head.

He glanced up as much as he could, twisting a bit to see what it was, a say that Alfred had fallen asleep and was resting his cheek on the top of his head. He blushed brightly and gave a small smile. He shifted slightly too where Alfred's head was resting on his shoulder, being careful not to wake him.

He gently brushed his fingers against Alfred's cheeks, brushing a few stray stands of hair from his eyes. His hand traveled down to his chest for a moment and he glanced down at him. He had not noticed before, but Alfred had been wearing the same clothing for the past few days, and as far as he knew, he had not bathed in that time either.

He was too busy caring for him, looking out for him.

Oh, but he still smelled nice, too.

He wrapped his arm around him and rested his cheek on the top of Alfred's head. After a moment, he sighed lowly and muttered; "Thank you, Alfred."

A small noise came from Alfred that almost sounded like a muffled "Welcome".

He blinked and glanced down at Alfred as Alfred's hold on him tightened a bit.

Alfred lifted his head, looking like he was half asleep, and said more clearly, albeit a bit groggily; "You're welcome, Artie." Then he laid his head back down, this time in the crook between Arthur's shoulder and neck, falling back asleep.

He let out a small chuckle and smiled, then reached behind him, being careful not to disturb him, and pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around them.

After a while of watching whatever mind numbing comedy show was on, he himself fell asleep, resting his cheek on the top of Alfred's head, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

Today was surprisingly a good day.


	8. Chapter 8

**/AN: Here's another chapter! Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Arthur slowly woke up, cracking an eye open as he felt something heavy on top of him. He blinked and opened his eyes fully, his face turning a dark red as he saw Alfred lying on top of him.

Alfred snored lightly, drooling a bit, as he wrapped his arms tightly around him.

He winced a bit and his face heated up more. He wrapped his arms around Alfred as well and closed his eyes again.

Just before he was about to fall back to sleep, he was suddenly awake by Alfred shifting.

"Arthur…?" Alfred blinked, leaning close to his face.

He slowly opened his eyes and blushed brightly.

Alfred hovered over him, blushing brightly. "S-Sorry." He muttered, moving to get off of him.

"It's alright." Arthur muttered, glancing away, blushing darkly.

Alfred cleared his throat and leaned against the arm of the couch. "I'll… um… go make some breakfast." He sat up quickly and went to the kitchen.

He watched him leave for a moment, then sat up and rubbed his face with a hand. His heart pounded loudly in his ears as he closed his eyes, his blush darkening more as he thought about Alfred over him. He finally understood why he was reacting like this, but he was still confused.

Why did he have such feelings for Alfred? Someone who always found a way to annoy him or hurt him, be it intentionally or not.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on his knees, giving a low sigh. Why did everything have to be so confusing?

* * *

Alfred sighed heavily and shook his head as he started cooking. He was entirely aware what he had thrown in the pan he was using, now that he thought about it, he believed it was eggs. He shook his head as his thoughts started to get to him, his cheeks a dark red.

'_That was seriously stupid! Really!_' He furrowed his brows. '_Before too long, if you keep acting like this, he's going to find out!_' He glanced down at the pan of eggs, fixed them so they wouldn't burn, then was pulled back into this thoughts.

'**_Would it really be so bad to have him? You never know, maybe he returns your feelings._**'

He puffed his cheeks, glaring at nothing in particular. '_You again? I thought I got rid of you! What are you, anyway? My conscience?_'

'**_Something like that._**' The voice echoed a bit in his head, he could feel a migraine starting to form.

'_If you're my conscience… then why are you trying to push me and Arthur together? Shouldn't you be, like, I don't know, against that? Shouldn't you be telling me to do that right thing?_'

'**_And who's to say this isn't the right thing?_**'

'_Well… it's obvious he wouldn't feel the same!_'

'**_Is it? He even gave you a hint yesterday, before you left the hospital._**'

'_No he didn't! What are you talking about?_'

'**_When you asked him what he thought about you, he replied with a 'I don't know', correct?_**'

'_So?_' He gave a small pout, going back to cooking the eggs.

'**_It's obvious he does know! Especially how he reacts! You know you could feel and hear his heart rate increase when you were on the couch!_**'

He gave a small huff and glared at the eggs, his cheeks burning. '_That doesn't mean anything._'

'**_Doesn't it? Did your heart not race as well when you woke up that way?_**'

'_Well yeah, but-_'

'**_My, my! You're quite adamant about this, aren't you? Fine then, why don't you wait for a while longer and see how things play out? Throw a few hints here and there. Arthur's smart, I'm sure he'll get it sooner or later._**'

'_That's just it. I don't want him to know._' He puffed his cheeks, placing the eggs on a plates and set them on the table.

'**_And why not? Wouldn't it be good to finally get some closer on the situation? To know if he felt the same? That would take a lot of weight off your shoulders._**'

'_You're right about that, but,_' He let out a small sigh as he toast on the plates as well. '_I don't think I can cope if he says he doesn't feel the same._'

'**_Now, Alfred. You're not the type to think of the consequences before you act. And besides, who'd care if he doesn't feel the same? You're a Hero! A Hero can get anyone he wants!_**'

He closed his eyes for a moment. '_I'd care._'

"Hey, Alfred."

He jumped slightly, being pulled out of his thoughts, and turned to see Arthur standing there. "Oh, hey Artie. I made us some breakfast."

"So I can see." Arthur nodded at the table. "Are you alright?"

"Hm?" He blinked, he must of noticed his face before. "Oh! Yeah! I'm just fine!" He took a seat at the table and grinned.

"Alright then." Arthur muttered, sitting at the table as well.

They ate in silence, Arthur only glancing over at Alfred every so often to see him woofing down his food.

Once he was finished, he immediately went to the sink and cleaned the dish, then put it away.

Alfred did the same, glancing occasionally at him from the corner of his eye.

Arthur let out a small sigh, leaning against the counter.

"So, dude." Alfred said after a moment. "Do you want to do anything today?"

Arthur remained silent for a moment, scratching at his forehead. "To be honest with you, I need to bathe of shower. I feel disgusting."

"That sounds like a good idea." Alfred nodded. "I totally need one too. It's been awhile."

Arthur turned and started upstairs, stopping half way up when he noticed Alfred following. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going upstairs." Alfred gave a small pout. "What does it look like?"

He blinked and shook his head, continuing up the stairs and went into his room. He went to his closet and picked a change of clothes, then walked into the restroom and saw Alfred there. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I was thinking that, since what you did last time, I should keep an eye on you." Alfred nodded.

Arthur blushed brightly and shook his head. "What happened last time? Alfred please! I need some alone time! Honestly! "

"Come on, dude." Alfred gave a small pout. "I won't watch you, swear."

"It's not that!" He huffed. "It's an invasion of privacy, Alfred!"

"Come on. You used to sit with me while I was taking a bath." Alfred crossed his arms, shaking his head.

"You were a child then, Alfred. And you had a fear that a shark would jump through the drain so you had me stay in there." He sighed, shaking his head as well.

"What? I was certain there was something living in there!" Alfred pouted. "Besides, there's no way you're getting out of this, so you might as just suck it up."

He furrowed his brows and turned away. "Fine. I just won't bathe then."

Alfred let out a loud sigh and shook his head. "Come on, Arthur. Just do it! I have to take on too, you know."

"No! This is stupid, Alfred! I swear to you, I won't do anything! Now leave!" He turned on his heels and stormed over to him, grabbing his shoulders and attempted to push him out of the room.

"Hey! Come on! It won't hurt you! I just want to make sure you'll be alright!" Alfred pouted, turning around quickly.

Arthur bumped into his chest and looked up at him, his face a dark red. "Just go, Alfred! Here, if you're really concerned, why don't you just sit outside the door and just talk to me?"

Alfred went silent for a moment, then shook his head. "That's not the same as being able to see you're alright."

"Oh come on, Alfred!" He frowned, furrowing his brows.

"Alright, alright!" Alfred huffed, turning around and walked out the door. "I'm keeping the door open, though."

His face turned redder and he shook his head. "No! Just crack it or something!"

Alfred blinked and looked back at him. "Why are you acting so weird about this?"

"I'm not acting weird! A man needs his privacy!" He shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah." Alfred rolled his eyes, closing the door, leaving it open a crack, and sat down and leaned against the wall.

Arthur let out a small sigh and turned to the tub, turning on the water. He sat at the edge of the bath tub, watching the water fill. He stood after it was full, turning off the water and stripped down and slowly slipped into the hot water, letting out another sigh.

He closed his eyes and sunk a bit into the water. The warm against his skin was a nice contrast to the normal cold he usually felt.

* * *

Alfred peeked through the crack in the door, his face turning a dark red as he watched Arthur silently. He watched him turn on the water, then stand and turn it off. He continued to watch him, his blush darkening more as Arthur slipped into the tub.

He watched for a moment longer then let out a small huff and looked away, his hand shaking slightly as he closed his eyes tightly.

* * *

Arthur let out another small sigh, his mind being swept away in his thoughts.

'_Why would Alfred want to stay in here with me?_' He opened his eyes slightly, staring at the water, his cheeks heating up in a dark blush. '_He worries about me so much, it's almost cute._'

He sunk more into the water, his nose just above the surface. He was a bit saddened by the fact he was getting rid of Alfred's smell, but he would change that once he was through.

After a few minutes, he became worried. Alfred wasn't talking to him like he said he would. He leaned over the side of the tub slightly, attempting to get a look through the crack in the door, but he saw nothing.

"Alfred?" He furrowed his brows.

"Yeah?" Came Alfred's muttered reply from behind the door.

"You're not talking to me like you said." He blinked, furrowing his brows a bit more.

"I thought you wanted your privacy."

"I didn't say I didn't want you to talk to me." He muttered again, looking down at the floor.

Alfred was silent for a moment, then he let out a small sigh. "What do you want to talk about, then?"

"I don't know."

"You wanted to talk, yet you don't know what you want to talk about?"

"I was hoping you would want to talk about something." He moved his hand over the water, frowning.

Alfred went silent for a moment again. "I… can't think of anything right now."

"I know something we can talk about." He stared at the crack in the door, half hoping he would peak in too look at him.

"What's that?"

"What did you think… when you first found me?"

Alfred remained silent for a long time, then he let out a small sigh. "I… don't know. My mind really have time to register what I was seeing."

"When it did, what did you think?"

"I thought… the only thing I could think of was getting you help."

"I see." He muttered, then looked down at the floor. "Why do you think I did it?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm sure you've speculated over what my cause was to do something like that. Why do you think I did?" He gave a small frown.

"I think there would be a few things. Things that I don't know about. Some you probably don't want me to know about. But to be honest, I had thought… it was me."

"No." He muttered, frowning more. "It's not you. But you're right about the 'some I probably don't want you to know about' part." He muttered the last part, hoping he did not hear.

"Why wouldn't you want me to know?" Alfred asked after a moment of silence.

"Because," He muttered, shaking his head. "It's complicated."

Alfred gave a small, humorless chuckle. "I know about a lot of complicated things, Arthur."

"Is that so?" He raised a brow. "Name one complicated thing you know of."

Alfred remained silent.

"You can't, can you?" He gave a small smirk.

"You." Alfred finally muttered.

"What?" He blinked, furrowing his brows.

"You said to name one complicated thing I know of, so I did. You're the most complicated thing I know."

He felt his cheeks begin to heat up and he shrunk back. "W-What do you mean? I'm certain there are more complicated things you know of then me."

"Let's just say, you're more complicated to me then China's money system."

He blinked and shook his head. "How am I complicated?"

Alfred went silent for a moment, then gave a small chuckle. "No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to understand you. You can be happy one moment then boiling made the next. I swear, you must be bipolar or something."

"I'm not bipolar!" He huffed, frowning

"Then you try to explain to me why you can act one way to me one second, then acting as if you hate me."

"It's because I-" He looked away, blush darkened more. "It's because I… I… like you." He added ever so quietly, just slightly above a whisper.

"What was that?" The door opened a bit more and Alfred glanced in.

"N-Nothing! Don't look in here, idiot!" He blushed darkly, jumping slightly.

Alfred stood and walked into the bathroom, standing in the middle of the room, his face completely serious. "What did you say, Arthur?"

"I didn't say anything!" He immediately threw his hands down in an attempt to cover himself, splashing water everywhere. "Get out of here, stupid!"

"No, I believe I heard what you said." Alfred blinked. "I caught the end of it. You said, 'like you'."

"No I didn't! I didn't say anything!" He shook his head, giving him a small glare.

Alfred's face turned a dark red as his mind finally started to put the pieces together. "You act like that because you… like me?"

"No! I didn't say that! Stop making assumptions!" He continued to glare, his face a dark red.

Alfred slowly walked to the side of the tub and looked down at him, his own face a dark red. "You… did say that. Why are you trying to deny it?"

"Because!" He huffed, looking away. "I… I don't…"

"You don't want to know if I don't feel the same." Alfred gave a small frowned.

He lowered his head, frowning. "I… I understand if you don-"

Alfred grabbed his chin gently and forced him to look up, then pressed his lips firmly against his.

Arthur's eyes went wide and he blushed brightly. His mind took a moment to register what was happening, but he soon found his eyes closing and he melted into the kiss.

Alfred moved to deepen the kiss, causing Arthur to kiss him back roughly.

Arthur's hands traveled up Alfred's arms, up his neck and he dug his hands through his hair.

Alfred let out a small groan and kissed more roughly, wrapping his arms around Arthur's waist. He broke the kiss and gave him a small smile. "I love you, Arthur."

Arthur panted lightly and slowly smiled. "I love you too, Alfred." He wrapped his arms tightly around his neck and kissed him passionately and deeply.

Alfred kissed back, pulling him out of the water and to his bed room, where he put him on the bed and crawled over him.

He closed his eyes tightly and melted into the kiss.

This is what he wanted.

Finally, after so long, he learned his feelings he kept secret for so long where shared.

Finally, he had someone who would love him, even with his dark side.

* * *

**/AN: Yep, guys! That's the end! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! And that last line, yes that's a reference to "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson. Actually, this entire story was based off that song! Clever, isn't it? Anyway, Thank you all for reading!**


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